An Arrow Not Burning
by Britedark
Summary: What might have happened, had Naraku not managed to trick Inuyasha and Kikyo into believing that each had betrayed the other?
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: This story basically plays around with the question -- what if Naraku was not entirely successful in persuading Kikyou and Inuyasha that each had betrayed the other? This first chapter is based on episodes 147 and 148 of the television series, though I've made some changes in details.

**An Arrow Not Burning: Part I: Betrayal**

Today, he would become a man.

Inuyasha crouched in the top of the sacred tree, the brisk wind blowing his hair straight out behind him, his eyes narrowed against the morning sun. The branch beneath his feet whipped wildly, but he ignored it, his body shifting to keep balanced without his thinking about it. The wind was bringing a multitude of scent messages as it passed over him on its trip from the forest to the village, but he was ignoring the external stimuli to concentrate on some unfamiliar feelings.

Like--anticipation.

Soon, he would no longer be hanyou. No longer would he be the object of hatred by two races. No longer would he be in a place that held only him. No longer would he be rejected by everyone.

Even more importantly, though, soon he would help the pain and loneliness disappear from her beautiful eyes. Soon, she would be free. Free to be a woman, not a miko. Free to care more about one, than about others. Free to love--him.

The white-haired hanyou shivered a little, closing his eyes. He recalled the moment from the evening before. They had taken a boat down-river that afternoon, ostensibly to check that the next village had not been affected by the demon attack they had fought off the day before. In truth, it had given them a chance to be together, alone, without anyone in the village wondering what a miko and a hanyou were doing together. They'd gained that much from his defense of the village--they had accepted Kikyou's explanation that she had won him to her side and that he was helping her.

They hadn't talked much, finding it preferable to simply be in each other's presence. He didn't know what she had been thinking, but for him, the silence had given him a chance to wrestle with a choice he'd never considered until a few days ago. Would have sneered at, before meeting Kikyou. Give up his demon blood, to become human? Lose his keen senses for the dullard ones he experienced once a month? Loose his strength, his speed, his ability to heal? Had he not already learned to care about Kikyou, he probably would have rejected the suggestion immediately. But he hadn't wanted to hurt her feelings, so he had said nothing when she first suggested it. He had found himself thinking about, imagining it, even dreaming about it. But he hadn't quite been able to grasp why he should say yes--

Until she had tripped getting out of the boat, fetching up against him as she lost her balance. Recovering, she had looked up. Their eyes had met. And somehow, in that moment, his world changed. The woman looking out of those dark eyes was beautiful, and so sad, and so -- vulnerable.

He dropped the pole, sweeping her into his arms, a wave of emotions sweeping through him. He wanted her, he needed her, she was his, to care for, to protect, to -- love. She returned his embrace, and for a moment, the inner, vulnerable hanyou, scarred by decades of loathing and hatred by almost everyone he encountered, wanted to flinch away. But the flood of feelings smothered that fear in wonder, and in a sudden, overwhelming comprehension.

"Kikyou," he whispered, tightening his embrace just a tiny bit as understanding came to him. He had been looking at the choice from the wrong direction. What counted was not what he would lose, but what he would gain. And what he would gain -- was love. Acceptance. And the woman in his arms, whom he could set free as could no one else, free her from a duty that she could not shirk and which she did not want. The woman who had dared speak to an outcast despised not by one, but by two races. The woman who had seen the human -- the man -- inside the wild, lonely hanyou, and drawn him out in spite of his will otherwise. The woman who had offered a way out of his isolated world. The woman in his arms, who did not shrink from him, did not despise him or hate him, who even trusted him enough to ask him for help--

Whom he loved. Loved more than his life. Whom he would do anything for. The gain from the choice was her, and their love more than outweighed any physical loss.

When she raised her face to his, he took her offering, sealing his decision with that kiss.

He would become human.

* * *

He landed at the base of Goshinboku, looking around. "She's not here?" he murmured, ears twitching, a tiny tremor of unease shifting through his thoughts. Had something happened at the village, which might have delayed Kikyou? Perhaps he should-- 

A low laugh came from the trees behind him. "You've appeared, hanyou."

Inuyasha whirled, ears snapping upright in shock. "What did you just say!"

Kikyou smirked, eyes glittering, her bow bent, an arrow aimed straight at his heart. "I said 'hanyou,'" she sneered. "Can't those revolting dog ears hear what I said?"

Inuyasha felt as if the world he knew had suddenly vanished. Hanyou? Revolting? Kikyou--! He stared at the figure beneath the trees, the woman he thought he knew, the woman he thought loved him. Shock held him motionless, without words, though his mouth worked. He felt almost dizzy, his skin was freezing, though something was starting to burn deep within his heart. Her words smashed into the hope and dreams she had nurtured within him. _Hanyou! Revolting!_ Part of him wanted to scream, but all he could get out was a strangled, "W-why? You--"

Her face twisted with hatred and loathing as she drew the arrow back a notch. "Do you really think a hanyou would take the Shikon no Tama from me?"

Inuyasha shook, claws biting into his palms unheeded. Not in decades had he ever placed trust in anyone, human or demon. The last time, he had still been a orphan child, desperate not to believe that all the world was against him. Once that naïve, near fatal hope had finally shattered, he had never risked trusting anyone. Until Kikyo. Until she had looked at him without hatred or fear, until she had asked his name, talked to him, offered him hope, offered him friendship, offered him a chance for love. And it had been a lie! All of it, a lie!

"Hanyou," she snarled. "I will punish you here." The bow creaked as she drew it back a fraction more. "Die, Inuyasha!"

As the arrow ripped through the air, instincts overcame the confused roar of shattering heart-pain. Inuyasha leapt straight upwards, and the arrow missed his feet by less than a hands-breadth. Up he bounded through the sacred tree. A shout, from a woman's voice roughened with sneering hate followed him. "Do you like this, hanyou?"

"Damn it!" The yell tore itself from Inuyasha's throat as he fled the site of his shattered dream.

Behind him, the laughter started again. But the throat that uttered it was not Kikyou's.

Deafened by his internal tumult, Inuyasha did not hear.


	2. Chapter 2: Confrontation

**An Arrow Not Burning - Part II: Confrontation**

Inuyasha slammed down on a branch, claws driving deep into the wood. His ears were flattened, his mouth open in a silent snarl that displayed fangs. He panted, blind and deaf to his surroundings. He could hear only the cruel words, echoing and re-echoing, driving claws deeper and deeper into what was left of his heart. He could only see her face twisted by hate, her eyes blazing with loathing, burning what was left of hope to ashes.

He could not scream for the pain. No youkai had ever caused this much pain, no matter how poisoned or sharp their claws. No human had caused this much pain, for no one since his mother had been allowed this close to his heart. Only the pain of his mother's death came close to this, and that, at least, he knew she had died loving him.

_How could she!_

He had given her his heart. He had given her his trust. He had offered, to please her and make her happy, to give up half of what he was. After so long, after so much aloneness, after so much rejection, he thought he had found someone to trust, someone to protect, someone to love. And it was only a pretense, a sham! A lie!

The agony twisted deeper.

There was no one.

There would never be any one. For him.

She had taken his hope. Encouraged it.

Then broken it.

The agony was abruptly consumed in an even more searing, mental scream of pure rage.

_How dare she!_

A snarl guttered out of his throat as his eyes snapped open. Rage swallowed his pain and transformed it. _Hanyo_, was he? Not good enough for her, was he? He'd show that puling, sneering mortal! The Shikon no Tama. He'd take it, and any human who got in the way would be ripped apart, and when he transformed into a true youkai, then just let her try to call him names! He'd show her, he'd show them all, and all the cursed, burning arrows in the world would not be enough to stop him!

Burning arrows.

He deepened his crouch, ready to spring, his thoughts leaping forward to the village, his rage hungrily anticipating the screams and fear that would follow his appearance.

_The arrow didn't burn._

It was a tiny thought, amidst the firestorm of rage. It came from the part of him that had learned never to be unaware of his surroundings, even asleep. The part of him that kept him alive in a world that hated or feared him.

The rage tried to swamp the thought. He didn't care! She had betrayed him, and he would show her what he thought of her betrayal, the cursed wench!

The arrow missed.

So!

Kikyo didn't miss.

Inuyasha shook his head, gasping for breath as he mentally teetered between mindless rage and the habits and instincts for survival that were beginning to flare warnings. Gritting his teeth, digging his claws more deeply into the hapless branch, Inuyasha forced his thoughts to the last moment with Kikyo. She had yelled at him to die, her hate plain in her face and her voice. Yet the arrow had been a clean miss, and he had felt none of the spirit power which should have been in that shaft.

His eyes narrowed, remembering. She had never once missed her shot at him before, even when he was frantically trying to dodge. Not wanting to harm him, she had admitted later, when they had begun talking, she had chosen not to will any of her purifying power into the arrows. Except that one time--

"I'm sorry about that one, Inuyasha," she had said one day. "Using the other attacking youkai as a shield – I didn't realize it was you until it was too late – the best I could do was pull the shot. I hope it didn't hurt too badly."

The arrow, glimmering with power, had had barely scratched his shoulder. Yet the pain had driven him momentarily to his knees. His arm had hung useless at his side for hours, paralyzed by the pain shooting down his limb. The cut had continued to burn for days, and weeks had passed before it finally vanished completely.

Yet this arrow hadn't even come close to killing him, despite her declared intent.

Inuyasha shook his head again, as if the action could somehow straighten out his increasingly confused thoughts. It didn't make sense! Kikyo had reviled him, threatened to kill him, yet hadn't even willed power into the arrow, let alone managed to strike him. Had she gone mad? Was she possessed?

He had to find her, he decided, slowly pulling his claws free from the splintered wood as he locked down the burning rage. He had to know what was really going on. But he would have to be careful. He didn't want to end up as the target for one of those arrows. It wasn't going to be him who died today.

Growling a little, he stood up, balancing easily on the branch. Eyes narrowing, he sniffed deeply, grimacing a little as the lingering stench of two-day old battle reached him even against the wind. He sniffed again, searching for that one particular scent that marked her presence.

He didn't find it, and felt puzzled. He wasn't that far from the sacred tree, and at the best speed a human could move, she should not have been able to get out of his range. Yet all he could pick up were lingering traces from their confrontation, and even with that, there was something odd about the scent.

With a growl of impatience, Inuyasha dropped his search, leaping into the air, aiming towards the village. The wind was too much against him to pick up much from the village until he got closer. But that had to be Kikyo's destination – she wouldn't dare leave the jewel unprotected long, even if she hadn't betrayed him.

As he soared above the trees, he saw the smoke—billowing in dark clouds, before being torn to shreds by the wind. It was clearly coming from the village. He snarled to himself, for he hated smoke. Its scent was sharp and penetrating, and it lingered, making it difficult to locate and track more delicate scents. It also tended to irritate his nose if he got too close, making him sneeze, and sometimes ruining his sense of smell until it cleared away.

During the next leap, he saw that the source of the smoke were several huts engulfed in flames. Part of him wondered what had happened to cause such fires on such a windy but otherwise fine morning. The other part of him shrugged – why should he care what happened to a bunch of poor humans and their ramshackle buildings? Sure, he'd helped protect them from the demon attack, but his real intent had been to protect Kikyo, who, of course, had had to protect the village. If fact, the fires might help him – once Kikyo saw the flames, she would surely become involved in the efforts to put out the fires, which would give him the perfect opportunity to get at her without an arrow to hand.

He landed on a solitary tree just within the boundary of the village and started his olfactory search again, eyes narrowed, growling a little as his nose promptly began to sting, just as he'd known it would. Where was she? She couldn't have gotten to the village before him: she ought to now be upwind of him, he should be able to find it! Why couldn't he scent her, what the hell was going on!

"Get him!" "There he is!"

Inuyasha sprang from his perch even before he saw the spears. Twisting in mid-air, he landed on the roof of an undamaged hut. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" he yelled down, recognizing the faces of several men who had been involved in the demon fight. "Where's Kikyo?"

"Get him before he uses those claws again!" shouted a voice Inuyasha recognized as belonging to the headman. "Use the nets!" The hanyo leapt again, aiming towards the tall arch that marked the stairway to the hilltop shrine. Two spears whipped into the air in front of him, carrying a loose net between them. His momentum carried him into it, but he only sneered and crossed his arms, flattening his ears to protect them. As the net tightened and he reached the apex of his leap, he threw open his arms, laughing with contempt as his claws easily slashed the net to pieces. Fools of humans, to think a mere net could stop him!

He landed on the arch. On the top of the hill above the long, stone staircase stood the shrine, untouched by the tumult. Inuyasha felt the tug of temptation: the jewel should be there, if it wasn't with Kikyo. He could take it now, sprint back to a safe position within his forest, then use it to turn demon.

But it was Kikyo he wanted at that moment. He wanted to find the person who had hurt him so badly, then left him unharmed. He wanted answers. He wanted her. Dancing out the way of an arrow, he turned in place, searching for her familiar scent. He had to find her. He would find her!

The scent that he was seeking claimed his attention, and he was off the arch, his thoughts falling behind, then shattering with shock.

Blood!

Kikyo's blood! She was injured! Badly injured!

He forgot his rage. He forgot his pain. All that mattered was that the woman he loved was in terrible trouble. He had to find her. He had to protect her, help her.

He slammed to the ground in front of her, just as she emerged from the copse of trees that separated the village from the uphill meadow where they had often met. "Kikyo!" he cried, voice cracking in horror and fear as his eyes confirmed what his nose had told him. The right shoulder of her white kimono was soaked with blood. "Kikyo!" he cried again, taking her as gently as possible into his arms, avoiding the horrible slashes that ran from her right shoulder down to her waist. "Oh, kami, what happened? Who did this to you?"

A slender hand pushed against his shoulder. Easing his grip, Inuyasha looked down at Kikyo's snow-white face. For a long moment, the dark eyes stared up at him in something resembling shock. Then her face began to twist, eyes blazing. "You," she whispered, her other hand rising to touch his chest, then sliding up to his shoulder. "You--curse you--!"

Inuyasha screamed as the full force of the miko's purifying power tore into him. It was agony beyond anything he had ever experienced. It was worse than any demon poison. Worse than any monk's banishing spells. Worse than any physical fire. The power burned into his half-demon blood and nerves, ripping, destroying--

Somehow he managed to jerk away, leaping backwards, crashing to the ground on his back. It took two tries to stagger to his feet, his arms limp as his side, his fire-rat robe hanging in tatters around his waist, his shoulders and upper chest burned black and starting to ooze blood. His ears rang, his nose smelled nothing, and his eyes blurred. Blinking, he managed to make out Kikyo on her hands and knees, not quite two lengths from him. "Kikyo. Why?" he managed to croak, his throat feeling as raw as the rest of him. "Why!"

She raised her head, glaring at him with hatred. "You dare--ask why?" she gasped, blood dribbling from the corner of her mouth. "You--ambushed me, stole the jewel, never--intended to become human, laughed at me--I trusted you! You--betrayed! Me!"

"It wasn't me!" Inuyasha felt his body starting to fall, and braced his trembling legs. "Kikyo, I wasn't there! I was at Goshinbuko, waiting for you to bring the jewel like we agreed, then you came, you insulted me, sneered at me, threatened to kill me and shot at me, and you missed, and it wasn't your arrow, and it wasn't you!"

"What are you talking about?"

Inuyasha lurched forward a step, then another. "Listen to me, Kikyo," he said, as the pieces fell into place. "There's a shape-shifter around. There has to be. I didn't attack you. And if that had been you, you wouldn't have missed. Someone's trying to make us hate each other."

"I don't believe you!" Her eyes were wild with rage and hate. "Betrayer!"

Inuyasha stared at her, dismayed. Despair sank into him, weakening his legs. He went to his knees as a new pain rolled over him. His love's trust in him was broken. She was dying. He would be left, alone and lonely, with the intolerable knowledge that he had failed her.

He could think of only one thing to do.

Somehow, he staggered to his feet once again. Each step sent a fresh whirl of dizziness into his head, but he refused to give in. Sinking to his knees in front of Kikyo, he somewhere found the strength to move his upper limbs. Easing her to a seated position, he gently placed her arms around his shoulders. Pulling her back to her knees, he enfolded her into his arms. "Kikyo," he whispered, "I swear to you, on my mother's blood: I'm not lying. I didn't do this to you." He swallowed. "But, if you can't--believe me--" His throat choked on the words. He didn't want to die. But the alternative -- to live, while his love died believing that he had betrayed her -- was infinitely worse. His throat unlocked for the words he most wanted to say.

"I love you."


	3. Chapter 3: Decision

**An Arrow Not Burning: Part III: Decision**

She didn't move within his arms for many long moments. Inuyasha did not dare stir, unable to do anything but wait for Kikyo's decision. When he did feel her shift, he tensed instinctively, then forced himself to relax with a long exhalation of breath. He felt her left arm moving, sliding along the raw flesh of his shoulder, and tried not to flinch as her fingers touched his neck. Perhaps, she was at least intending to be merciful--a blast of her power aimed at his throat would almost certainly kill him more quickly than her initial effort would have.

"Shape-shifter?"

His eyes opened at the barely audible whisper. "That's the only thing that makes sense, Kikyo." he said. "Someone who could look like me, someone who could look like you. I don't know what it's after, other than the Shikon jewel, but..."

"Or how it knew what we were planning," she murmured. "Did you tell anyone about our plan for you to turn human?"

Inuyasha snorted. "Me? Who would I tell? I don't have friends."

He felt her wince. He sighed, and held her a little closer. It didn't matter how the shape-shifter had found out. The damage was done.

"Inuyasha." Her voice was firmer, and her hand pushed against his chest. "Take me to the shrine."

He eased back and peered down, blinking. She looked up at him, her skin as pale as before, but her face now a mask. Her miko mask – emotionless, hard-eyed, dedicated. The mask of a hunter. He knew, then.

She was dying. He could smell it, feel it. And he knew she knew it.

If the shape-shifter had taken the jewel -- which it apparently had -- then she would be able to find the jewel and with it, the would-be thief and murderer. And she intended to take the shape-shifter to the underworld with her.

He didn't want her to die. But he wasn't a healer, He couldn't give her life: he had already failed to protect her. The only thing he could possibly give her now was the opportunity to take her murderer with her.

"Hai. Just leave some of the shape-shifter for me."

Her small, thin smile held nothing but a predatory agreement. "We'll take it together."

* * *

Rage burned in her mind, shrouding the pain and the increasing cold of her body. Staring up at the eyes of the man she had -- so easily! -- been led to believe had betrayed her, the miko used her training to channel the rage into strength. It was a false strength, but it would have to do. If the shape-shifting demon was smart, it would have taken the shikon jewel and would be moving to keep its distance until she collapsed. But it wouldn't. She knew that. The cruelty that would lead a demon to try and trick two people into turning on each other wouldn't be satisfied with escaping. It would be watching. Waiting. Gloating.

And she--no, they--would find it, and slay it.

Inuyasha rocked back, shifting his weight from his knees to his feet. He started to pivot, surprising Kikyo, who had expected him to either stand and help her to her feet, or to pick her up and carry her. Nonplussed, she stared at his long hair, not understanding what he was attempting. "'Yasha--" she murmured.

"Stupid. If I carry you in my arms, how do I fight? Get on--shit!"

Bowstrings twanged. Kikyo found herself lying on her left side as something white and red blurred at the corner of her vision. Arrows whistled overhead, accompanied by at least two meaty thuds. Above her, Inuyasha screamed invectives at the unseen attackers.

"Stupid fucking idiots! What the hell do you think you were doing! You could have hit Kikyo!"

"Kikyo-sama?" several voices from further down the trail rose in in a babble of confusion. "What--" "Where--"

She pushed herself to a seated position, looking up. Inuyasha was crouching on a slender branch a little more than two lengths above her, his right hand gripping a branch above him for further support. Blood streamed down his left arm from an arrow lodged in his biceps, and she could see the feathered end of a second arrow that must be lodged in his side. With an odd mingling of dismay and shame, she realized that he had made sure to protect her, before trying to protect himself. None of the men in the village were skilled enough to even nick Inuyasha when he was free to move. The voices of the villagers changed from surprise to consternation, but she ignored them. "Inuyasha," she called out. "You're hurt--"

"Keh." His right ear twitched in her direction, but his gaze remained on the approaching villagers. "Now you worry?" he asked, with an edge of a taunt in his voice. "Scratches." As if to demonstrate, he released his grip on the branch, yanked out the two arrows and let them drop, then hurriedly grabbed the branch above him as he started to wobble. "They aren't your arrows."

"Priestess!" "Kami -- what happened, priestess -- you're hurt!"

"Never mind that." She kept her gaze on the hanyo. "Inuyasha, get down here."

Six bows came up, arrows aimed over her head. Inuyasha growled. "If they don't lower those bows, I'll take them out, and maybe a few arms with them. We don't have time for this."

"Agreed," Kikyo said coldly. She turned her head and glared at the villagers. "Lower your bows."

"But, miko-sama, we saw him! He came straight through the village, slashing about with those claws of his before disappearing. He killed seven people, including little Korana--"

Kikyo gasped in a sudden shock of pain and horror. Korana had been a tiny, vivacious girl of barely five, and had been easily the pet of the village. Grief choked her throat and tears stung her eyes. Not Korana!

"It wasn't me!" The shout was almost a scream, as Inuyasha landed next to Kikyo with a thump, crouching, his ears flattened and his hands arched into claws. "I wouldn't --curse you, I wouldn't kill a child!"

"I know you wouldn't." Kikyo forced her grief down, forced her face back into its impassive mask. "It was the impostor." Ignoring the signs of confusion in the faces of the villagers, she continued. "I need a bow and arrows. Inuyasha..."

The nearest man shrank back as Inuyasha leaped to his side, but did not resist as the hanyo plucked the bow from his grasp and pulled the quiver from his shoulder. Jumping back to Kikyo's side, he carefully slung the quiver, and then knelt before her. "Get on my back," he said, reaching behind to support her. Bow in her right hand, Kikyo used her left hand on his shoulder to pull herself up. His hands went under her lower thighs. Rising to his feet so gently that she felt no stab of pain from her wounds, he adjusted her position with his hands. "Can you hold on?" he asked. "This is going to hurt."

She gripped with her knees, and tightened her handhold as best she could on his shoulder. His hands fell away. "Just get us to the shrine." Inuyasha was standing in a crouched position, so it was easy to look over his head at the confused-looking villagers. "Get out of the way – Inuyasha and I have a job to do."

"But, Lady Kikyo, you're wounded—"

"Move!"

Inuyasha took a long step forward, growling softly. The men hesitated, and then fell back. "Stupid idiots," she heard him mutter.

"Angry and afraid," she corrected.

"Feh. Whatever." He took another step. "Hold on."

* * *

Inuyasha ran, not certain enough of his strength or of Kikyo's to attempt any of his long leaps. Pain stabbed his side with every step, and his lungs burned, but he was past expert at ignoring pain. What he was not expert as was ignoring the flickering memories.

_A fall day, warm and clear, the leaves around him shades of scarlet and gold. Kikyo approaching his position with a gaggle of children, smiling as she talked with them. A flash of happy, laughing eyes as she looked up and spotted him. Her invitation to come down and join them. His flippant refusal, and turning away, pretending disinterest. His ears swiveling to catch the happy sounds of children and woman playing. A yearning he didn't want to admit, that kept him trying to sneak glances of the group._

_Then a voice. "Why is playing with us 'silly'?" _

_He'd started, and found himself looking down at a tiny girl who had moved away from the group to stand directly next to the tree. "Don't you like to play? I like to play." A pause, and she smiled up at him. "I'm Korana. Won't you please come down and play?"_

"It's there."

Kikyo's voice and fingernails digging into his burned skin shattered the skein of memories and brought his attention fully back. Sliding to a halt, he looked up the long set of stairs that led to the shrine, and found himself growling, ears starting to flatten. He was picking up a demonic scent, one he could not quite identify, at once familiar and strange. "And the jewel?" he asked.

"Yes."

"I'm jumping." With that warning, he pivoted on one foot and leapt. Zigzagging, he took the steps—that he would normally have taken with a single bound—in a double handful of smaller leaps, shifting direction with each jump in an instinctive move to avoid being too much of a target on the unsheltered stairs. His last leap took them to one corner of the shrine's porch. Holding his slight crouch, he felt Kikyo's knees release their grip as she eased off his back. She leaned against him a few moments longer as her ragged, pain-caught breathing eased. "Kikyo?"

"I'm—I'll manage," she whispered, as he heard an arrow being withdrawn from the quiver. "It's coming."

Inuyasha snapped his head around as he heard footsteps. A being in bright red with long, white hair and glowing, golden eyes stepped around the opposite corner, the Skikon No Tama dangling from one clawed finger. He smirked. "My dear Kikyo," he said. "Are you sure you are with the right Inuyasha?"


	4. Chapter 4: Fight

**An Arrow Not Burning, Part IV: Fight**

Inuyasha stared at his doppelganger. The other had his appearance down exactly. He was smirking. The voice didn't quite sound like him, and there was a faint but definite stench which the real hanyo was certain did not emanate from him. But the entity could certainly fool humans in this form, and had. His throat vibrated with a growl. This demon had used this shape to trick and nearly kill Kikyo. He had used this shape to trick the villages into thinking that Inuyasha had attacked and killed them. That he had killed an innocent little girl. His growl grew louder, as his ears flattened, and his anger flared. Gripping his left arm, he dug his claws into the arrow wound, not feeling pain as the tips dug deep, seeking blood.

"You are not Inuyasha." The cool, dispassionate voice came from behind him, along with the creaking of a drawn bow. "Who are you, and why did you try to trick us?"

The laugh was half-sneer. "Why, isn't it obvious, little miko?" he jeered, setting the Shikon No Tama to swinging. "Isn't the Shikon No Tama so much lovelier, now that your bitter hatred, and the death of those stupid villages, has darkened it?" Inuyasha heard Kikyo's sharp intake of breath. "I admit, I underestimated the hanyo—just think how more lovely it would be now, if he had stolen the jewel as I intended, then been killed by you when he tried to escape. On the other hand, what you attempted to do might have been even better—imagine the despair it would have to absorb, when you realized that you had killed your entirely innocent lover."

"Bastard!" Inuyasha unleashed his rage, leaping forward, bloodied right hand slashing out and down. "Hijinkessou!"

Drops of blood sprayed out from his claws, transforming into dozens of glowing-red, razor-sharp, curved blades. The shape-shifter started to move, but the blades were too fast and the distance too short. The blades were small, just starting to expand, but their size made no difference to their sharpness. They slammed into the demon's right chest, shoulder, and arm. The arm fell, torn apart by the blades. The shapeshifter staggered, mouth opening in shock and perhaps something more.

And then a demon swarm exploded from the shoulder and chest wounds, directly into Inuyasha's path. Less than a length behind his blades, the hanyo had no chance to avoid the swarm. Left arm raised to protect his face, right fingers arched at full extension as he slashed wildly before him, the hanyo disappeared into the biting, clawing, shrieking maelstrom. Eyes narrowed to slits, snarling as his claws hewed a partial path through the swarm, Inuyasha kept his focus on a single goal. He slammed bodily into the other demon, taking them both over the rail, and not really noticing, as he reached for the only thing that, at that moment, mattered.

* * *

Kikyo had little more time to react than Inuyasha as the swarm exploded in her direction. There was no time for thought, only for the skills imposed by arduous training. Her arrow purified the leading edge of the swarm. The next moment, the still-vibrating bow became the focus of her barrier. The demonic swarm, only slightly lessened by Inuyasha's frantic defense, and with no opportunity to change their own momentum, slammed straight into her shield. Kikyo was hammered to her knees by the assault of dozens of demons against her protection, both hands clinging to her bow as she fought to keep the barrier strong. The swarm shrieked and writhed as the individuals impacted the shield and disintegrated. Some on the outer perimeter of the swarm managed to avoid the barrier, but not many. 

The swarm faded, its remnant survivors fleeing, their small minds intent only on escape and survival. Drained, Kikyo fought to stay conscious. She coughed and gasped for air, feeling the darkness of eternity dragging at her. _No!_ she thought at that. She could not die, not yet. She had a jewel to recover. A thief and murderer to kill. And a beloved to save. If she could. _Inuyasha. _

Bracing her good shoulder against the wall of the shrine, the miko forced herself to her feet. Arm shaking, she fumbled for a fresh arrow, managing somehow to pull it out and lay it against the bow. Using the wall for support, she forced her feet to move. One step, two, three—

Something fell over her head. Startled, she lost her concentration and crumpled to her knees. "Damn it!" said a voice. "Kikyo! Don't give in! Not yet! I got the jewel back!"

Jewel? Kikyo looked down and saw the Shikon No Tama resting on her chest, glinting dully. For a moment, she thought she heard a voice whispering in her mind; an urge to take the jewel in her hand, to wish for her life. With a mental shudder, she thrust the temptation aside. She could not use the jewel as it was. Not for her own purposes, her own selfishness. She had sworn to purify and protect the jewel. Seeking to end the need for her duty was one thing, but to betray it was another.

There were worse fates than dying.

Nevertheless, whether from the jewel or somewhere else, Kikyo found small measure of strength returning. She managed to raise her head. And nearly lost it again, as she saw what crouched before her.

Golden eyes stared out from a mask of blood. From the eyebrows up, his face and part of his scalp had been scoured down to the bone in places. Both ears were gone. Looking down, she saw that the swarm had finished what she had begun, reducing his clothes to shredded rags. He was still almost as covered with red as he ever had been, but the red this time came from his blood, from the dozens – hundreds – of cuts and bites covering his body. His left arm hung limp, one bone of the forearm almost entirely clean of flesh, the last finger of his hand little better. Her soul ached for the realization of the pain he must be feeling. She wanted to cry, wanted to beg forgiveness for the injuries she had dealt him, that had surely decreased his ability to defend against the swarm. But there was no time for such emotions. Not for her, not for him.

"'Yasha, listen to me," she whispered quickly. "That demon – he's not, not fully. A human called demons to devour his soul, thinking to gain power. Only way to kill, find the human heart, destroy it…."

He looked puzzled. "Which may not be where you think," she elaborated.

His eyes widened in understanding, then narrowed. "Can you find it?"

She hesitated. "I don't know. I— " Inuyasha whirled, blood-streaked hair whipping across her face as he lashed out with his good hand. Bits of tentacle and claw went flying off the porch. Her view blocked by Inuyasha's back, Kikyo could sense that the demon had returned to the porch.

"You're going to have to do better than that, red-eyes," sneered the hanyou. "I'm not exactly deaf yet."

"No?" The merge-demon's feigned lightness of voice was not reflected in his demonic aura, which was dark with rage and hatred. "At least your appearance is improved, without those ridiculous dog-ears, little hanyo."

Inuyasha growled, tensing, as if preparing to attack. "Not yet," Kikyo breathed. "'Yasha…"

His growl grew a moment, then faded. He nodded, shifting his stance slightly. Then, without warning, he slashed outwards once again. "Hijinkessou!"

She had neither position nor opportunity to watch the second blast of blood-claws go flying down the shrine's porch towards their opponent. The yell was barely out of his mouth when Inuyasha jumped back and sideways, pulled her against his chest with his right hand under her left armpit, and brought both of them to their feet. Kikyo gasped, her head spinning for a long moment. When she could see again, she was was being supported by a combination of the wall, Inuyasha's upper left arm around her back, and the fist of his right hand, gently pressing her chest just below the jewel. From between his fingers jutted the feathered bases of three arrows. The growl in his throat was just barely audible, and his head was turned away from her.

Kikyo told her cold, tired, aching body that it had to keep moving for just a bit longer. Willing her legs to remain steady, her arm not to tremble, she brought up the bow. Plucking the arrows one at a time from his hold, she placed the first two into the grasp of the last two fingers of her bow hand. Taking the last arrow, she made herself straighten up, away from her support. She placed the final arrow against the bow and the bowstring. Inuyasha eased away from her, turning to face forward, and moving sideways enough to give her a clear shot—and a clear view.

The merge-demon no longer looked like Inuyasha. He no longer was laughing. Red eyes—the red of dried blood—glared at them from beneath long, black hair. The destroyed right arm had been replaced by an amorphous, writhing blob, from which several claw tipped tentacles depended. Two pairs of spider-like limbs had erupted from his back.

"It doesn't matter how you try to protect the miko, hanyo," he said, after a moment. "Unless she uses the jewel, she's going to die."

"He knows that." Kikyo found her voice cool and expressionless. She drew back on the bow, not yet to full extension. "Onigumo."

The merge-demon started, his eyes widening. "What? You—I am not Onigumo! I am Naraku, and I am your death, woman!"

She met his furious gaze calmly. "You may claim the name 'Naraku' now, half-demon," she told him. "But I know what you are. Only a desperate and foolish human would believe he could obtain power by being consumed by a demon swarm. Only one human in this region was that desperate, that foolish. The burned, crippled bandit that I took pity on, to whom I thought I was being merciful, by giving him shelter and care. You, Onigumo."

The red eyes blazed. "Very clever, little miko. Onigumo did call on us to consume him. And he was a fool, to think we would give him what he thought he wanted. And now, Onigumo is gone, and everything that has happened is your fault. Because of your weakness. Your pity. Your love for a despicable hanyo. You're a failure, miko. A dead failure."

Kikyo considered the sneering demon, and realized that all she felt was a quiet, unshakable calm. The knowledge of whom she faced, the understanding of what had happened, had drained the anger, the bitterness, the hatred. She loved Inuyasha, and he loved her, but in this last moment, she was what she was – miko. Trained to protect her kind.

She smiled. A small, quiet smile. "No one lives without making mistakes, half-demon. It may have been a mistake to think it was more merciful to help a broken bandit live, rather than give him to the daimyo for justice and death. But it was not weakness. Nor was my love." She drew back the bow a bit further. "Onigumo, if you hear me, know this. I forgive you your lust for me, your desire for the jewel. May you find peace in your death."

The merge-demon staggered as something screamed in rage and hate. Poisonous light surged just below his ribs, a mixture of bilious yellow and green. Features emerged, as out of a mist: a human face, its visage marked with savage burns and twisted with savage emotions. "Curse you!" it spat, as Naraku stared down in shock. "If you hadn't loved a dirty hanyo rather than a human! If you had let me have the jewel, it wouldn't have come to this! They used me!"

"I did not make your choices for you, Onigumo," she replied calmly. "From the choices you made to steal and murder, to the choice to seek power by offering your soul to demons, they were your choices. I can give you nothing, Onigumo, except my hope that, somehow, you find peace." She drew back her bow to its fullest extension, and fired.

Naraku leapt, as she anticipated, but more quickly as she had guessed. Her shot took him in the left leg. He screamed as power in her arrow disintegrated that limb. More demons burst outward as the merge was weakened, but a much smaller swarm than the first. She sntached her second arrow to the string. Inuyasha, who had leapt as soon as the arrow passed him, yelled out his battle cry, golden, eldritch claws slashing out to shred those whose path took them closest to Kikyo. Reaching the apex of his leap above Naraku, Inuyasha lifted his arm to deliver a slashing, downward blow that would rip the other demon apart.

Two tentacles flashed out with blazing—and desperate—speed. Inuyasha dodged, but he lacked the speed in the air that he had on the ground. The first tentacle wrapped itself around his crippled arm and jerked hard. The hanyo yelped in pain, twisting as he re-oriented his strike. Claws exploded through the first tentacle, and it fell into dissolving pieces. But the second tentacle, its end sheathed in demonic chitin and needle-sharp, slammed into his belly and rammed out his back in a shower of blood.

Kikyo froze. Inuyasha seemed to crumple in mid-air, then started to fall. More tentacles lashed out to wrap around his legs and good arm. Naraku fell back, taking his weight on his four spider arms. He brought the limp form down in front of him, held up by his tentacles.

And then he laughed. "So tell me, Kikyo. Would you rather I tear Inuyasha apart before you, and then wait for you to die? Or shall I let him watch you die, before I string him up in a web and see how much poison it takes to kill him?


	5. Chapter 5: Burning Arrow

**An Arrow Not Burning, Part V: Burning Arrow**

The burning spike of agony through his belly consumed the rest of his pain. Grinding his teeth against the scream clawing against his throat, Inuyasha did not attempt to resist as the tentacles pulled him down. Pain and despair hammered at his thoughts as he struggled to think of some way—any way—to destroy the monster who was killing Kikyo. He couldn't let this Naraku win! He'd gladly join Kikyo in death, but only if he took Naraku with him! But how? He could not feel his legs, his left arm was useless, he didn't have the strength to pull his right arm free.

"So tell me, Kikyo. Would you rather I tear Inuyasha apart before you, and then wait for you to die? Or shall I let him watch you die, before I string him up in a web and see how much poison it takes to kill him?"

The growl came unbidden to his throat as his blood-filled ears heard Naraku's taunt. "Filthy … murderer…" he snarled through clenched teeth. "I'll … kill …you."

Naraku's laugh dinned into his ears again. Through barely cracked eyelids, Inuyasha met the Naraku's blood-red gaze. "Big talk, dog-boy," sneered the merge-demon, his face only inches from Inuyasha's. "I thought you'd be begging me for death. After all, don't you want to be with Kikyo? I'll even do it, if you ask. After all, there is another alternative to dying. I see how long I can make you suffer. Like this."

Inuyasha screamed and convulsed as the spike twisted in his belly. His mind was filled with white agony. There was no thought. Only pain, and the awareness that the cruel, mocking laughter was filling his fading ears.

"Inuyasha!"

So faint, the voice. Mind on the cusp between light and dark, Inuyasha knew that voice. Kikyo.

Kikyo. Who loved him. Who was dying, because he had failed to protect her.

_Your father died to protect us. Always remember that, my son. No matter how much others call you 'hanyou' or 'dirty half-breed', remember your father's gift to you and me. He loved us enough to die for us._

He couldn't match his father. He couldn't protect Kikyo from dying.

But he could drag Naraku to the underworld with them.

Inuyasha whipped his head and upper torso forward, knowing precisely where his target was. Naraku was still laughing, feeling his triumph, gloating with the malice and hate that came from both sides of his merged nature, forgetting that his captive did have a single weapon that he had not protected against.

Inuyasha buried his fangs in Naraku's neck.

Naraku convulsed as his laughter was abruptly cut off. Inuyasha's fangs were not long, but his jaws had the inhuman strength to match the rest of his body. He crushed the demon's human-shaped windpipe with a single bite.

Choking, the merge-demon convulsed again. Inuyasha flung himself back, ripping the demon's throat open, at the same time wrenching his good arm free from the shock-slackened grip. Spitting out the foul-tasting flesh, Inuyasha concentrated on his goal, oblivious to the surprise on Naruku's face. Claws glinting gold, fingers and wrist stiff, the hanyou drove his arm forward, aiming for the spot on Naraku's torso where Onigumo's face had appeared.

Hanyo flesh is not quite the same as youkai flesh, which is not the same as human flesh. Inuyasha's hand drove deep into Naraku's torso. He knew instantly when his fingertips encountered the less yielding remnant of the brigand. His claws tightened. The bandit's spirit screamed. With a violent heave, Inuyasha pulled his hand and the captive, throbbing heart free of Naraku's body. Continuing the motion, Inuyasha flung the heart straight into the air.

"Now, Kikyo!"

He did not wait to hear the snap of the bowstring he _knew_ would come. With a scream that focused all of his pain and the last remnants of strength, Inuyasha made a final, sweeping slash. _"Sankon tessou!"_

Naraku's head and shoulders exploded as the golden claws slashed through them. The tentacles shuddered and collapsed, dropping with Inuyasha to the porch. Another spike of agony slammed through Inuyasha's darkening thoughts, but even through the pain, he heard the release of the third and final arrow. An arrow that burned. Very faintly, he felt it pass above him. He almost heard the explosion of youkai flesh disintegrating. He sensed the single, merged aura of the demon rip apart, some of it to reform into panicked, fleeing lesser youkai, but the most of it to dissipate into nothing.

He smiled as darkness washed over him. That was his Kikyo. The archer who didn't miss, the miko who could stop a hanyo in his tracks without harming him, the woman who saw him as someone worth loving, where no one else – save one – ever had.

Together, they'd killed Naraku.

_Wait for me._


	6. Chapter 6: Death

**An Arrow Not Burning, Part VI: Death**

"Onee-sama! Onee-sama! Please wake up! Onee-sama!"

"Lass, she's dead. You can't help her."

The girl was crying. A vague thought drifted through his cold, dark, aching world. _Why was she crying?_

"What about this one? He's still breathing."

"Finish him off and throw him in the well."

"But it looked like he was helping Kikyo fight that demon. Shouldn't we…"

_Kikyo. _The word dropped into the darkness of his mind like a softly illuminating candle. He knew that name. He could almost remember. If only it wasn't so cold.

"Are you forgetting his attack on us! Kill him before he wakes up!"

"But he said it wasn't him. Kikyo said something about an imposter, and didn't that demon they killed look something like him at first."

_Kikyo._ Pale face, dark eyes, dark hair. Sad face. Happy face. Smiling at him. People didn't smile at him. But she did.

"So what? He's more than half-dead, and he's too dangerous to let live. Kill him and be done with it." _Were they talking about him?_

"No!" The girl again. Light footsteps, coming near. "You can't kill him!"

"And why not?"

"Kikyo loved him!"

_Kikyo loved him._ Inuyasha's eyes snapped open, as if the words had slid back the door of his waking mind. He stared at the piece of macerated flesh in front of his nose, and realized it was his arm. They'd been – fighting? Yes. A demon. Naraku. Shape-shifter. They'd taken him out together; he remembered the burning arrow flying above him as he collapsed. But Kikyo, she was—she was…

"Kikyo."

His voice: a broken whisper.

"Inuyasha?" The voice was close. He turned his head a little. A face swam into view. A girl's, streaked with tears, one eye covered with a bandage. He tried to remember her name. He knew he knew it.

"Kaede…?" he finally whispered.

She nodded. "K-Kikyo's dead, Inuyasha." Fresh tears flowed down her face. "We-we could s-see what was happening. Y-you damaged the demon, and then Kikyo's arrow destroyed it. You were down. Kikyo started to walk towards you, but then she sort of staggered, she dropped her bow, and then she just—just fell over. We-we ran up the stairs, but when we got here, she-she w-wasn't breathing."

Inuyasha closed his eyes as they started to burn. Dead! It wasn't what he wanted! He'd never wanted her dead, even when she humiliated him by pinning him to a tree with her arrows. When he'd felt the final arrow, he'd thought they were both dying, and he could accept that. But he was awake again, and his demon blood would probably keep him alive, and he wanted to live, but he also wanted Kikyo to live!

He pushed himself to hand and knees with a convulsive move. Agony wrenched through him, telling him he'd made a mistake. He retched, gagged, coughed, each twitch sending white-hot fire through his belly. Black liquid tasting of blood, bile and poison gushed out of his mouth and splattered onto the floor as he struggled for to clear his clogged throat. The spasms eased, but left him shaking, and with an intense nausea that each tight-caught breath threatened to send into another searing paroxysm.

A small, hot hand touched his shoulder. "You shouldn't be trying to move, Inuyasha," said Kaede from beside him. "You've got an awful fang or something right through your belly and out your back, and without Kikyo, I don't know if anyone can take it out without killing you."

He stared at the stained wood beneath him. "Don't. Care. Brat," he wheezed. Wood cracked as his clawed fingers tensed in the effort to raise his head. "Have. To see. Kikyo."

His vision was blurring, but not so much that he couldn't make out her body. It was barely a length away with two men crouched by next to it. They had turned her over onto her back. The white top was stained, not just with her blood, at the shoulder, but with his. They had folder her hands over her stomach. But he couldn't make out her face.

And he had to see her face, at least once more. To say 'good-bye', to say 'sorry', he didn't know. Just that he had to get to her. To see her face.

He forced one leg to move, and nearly collapsed as his tortured belly revolted. More retching, more gagging and coughing left almost every muscle locked, shivering with tension, every agonized breath a wheeze. Something touched his shoulder again, and spoke in his ears, but he couldn't respond. Couldn't speak. Couldn't move. Couldn't even see her face in his mind. There was only pain. Only grief. Only longing.

"Inuyasha. Inuyasha!" He didn't know how long he existed in that timeless fog before the girl's voice penetrated it. "Please, Inuyasha, open your eyes. I had them move her. Please, Inuyasha. Open your eyes."

He obeyed that voice, and saw—her. Kikyo. Her face was drained of color, her eyes closed. Dried blood marred her slightly parted lips and her chin. There was no expression on her face—the miko mask was her death mask.

Tears blurred his vision. He wanted to speak. Wanted to say good-bye. Want to say he was sorry. And he couldn't. His throat was paralyzed. There were only tears. Tears that kept him from seeing her face.

Something glinted. Something pink, that glittered with its own light. Inuyasha found his gaze centering on that. Even through the tears, he knew what it was. The Skikon no Tama, resting along her neck, where it had shifted from the move. The Jewel of Four Souls.

The jewel that could turn him from hanyo to full demon. The desire he had had almost as long as he could remember. When he had heard about the jewel and its power, he had thought to take the jewel, not caring for the consequences to its guardian. Until he met her. Until she evaded him, humiliated him, defeated him, and then—talked to him. He had hurt her feelings that first time, yet she hadn't turned away. She had never treated him as something foul, something abominable, as a thing to be hated and despised. She had stolen his heart and taught him that there were some things more important than simple strength.

If the jewel could turn a hanyo to a demon, then it surely could—

He snatched the Shikon no Tama with his good hand, breaking the strand. _Bring her back! Please, let Kikyo live!_ His body convulsed at the unconsidered motion, but Inuyasha didn't feel it it, as all his will focused on one thought. _I wish Kikyo to live!_


	7. Chapter 7: The Shikon No Tama

**An Arrow Not Burning, Part VII: The Shikon No Tama**

The jewel burned in his hand. Vaguely aware that he couldn't feel anything else, Inuyasha waited for something to happen. He wondered how a jewel could 'know' what was wished for. And why couldn't he feel the rest of his body? When he had grabbed for the jewel, he must have fallen over, and he'd found out the hard way that any motion was excruciating. He couldn't have been knocked out, could he? He was still thinking; he couldn't be unconscious. Kami, he wasn't dead, was he? He didn't want that, not if he could help it.

Something deep inside him snapped. Abruptly, he could feel his body again – and it was on fire. It jerked, and he felt the radiating stab from his belly, but it was a freezing bite compared to the red flame in his blood and his mind. His body twitched again, and he felt himself start to _change._ All twenty toes and fingers twinged, as did his jaws. He could feel his fangs growing longer.

Panic seized him. He couldn't be! He wasn't in human form, he couldn't be changing back to hanyo. But that meant--!

"No!" he screamed, to himself, to the jewel. "I don't want to become youkai!"

The fire laughed at him. His demon blood surged, raging through his veins. He could feel it wrapping around his human self, seeking to seal it away, to destroy it. The self that Kikyo had drawn out of the hanyo, the self that had learned to love, the self he had agreed to become. His demon blood, enhanced by the jewel, wanted to destroy him.

"Never!" The jewel was doing this, somehow ignoring his current wish for the old one he had discarded. He could feel the jewel burning in his hand, darkening as it roused his demon half. "I will not become youkai!" He had to stop the jewel. If he could get it out of his hand, maybe it would stop trying to change him.

He couldn't see, but he could still feel his hand clenched around the jewel. Concentrating with all of his strength, Inuyasha willed his fingers to open, to drop the jewel. For long moments, nothing happened, save for the sensation of growing claws. The demonic fire tried to grow, burning at his mind and his will. He refused to be affected or distracted. His hand – would – open!

Sight returned. The Shikon No Tama had dropped out of his opened hand, and was rolling slowly away along the planks of the porch flooring. Moving his hand, he slammed the long claws into the wood around the jewel, gouging it as he tightened his fingers. The jewel came to a stop, trapped by the long, raised splinters of wood, surrounded by his fingers, but not in contact.

Inuyasha swallowed against his nausea, realizing that he was braced on his elbows and knees. The fire in his blood was less, but he could still feel it moving, threatening to change him. How could he touch the jewel again, if it was trying to turn him into a demon? How could he get it to do what he wanted it to do?

"Inuyasha?"

Slowly, he moved his eyes, then even more slowly turned his head to find the speaker. Kaede was being held by two of the villager men at the very edge of the hilltop. The rest of the village men had also retreated from the shrine, their bows and spears poised. "Please," called out Kaede, tears still streaking down her face. "Please don't use the jewel. I don't want to see you turn into a youkai. _Kikyo_ wouldn't want you to turn into a youkai."

_Kikyo._ Inuyasha let his head droop, grinding his teeth against the grief that swept across him. Kikyo had died because the Shikon No Tama. Because a stupid human bandit and a bunch of even stupider, low-class demons had merged into a monster. A monster that had killed little Korana, for what? Power? What good was power if it meant you killed innocent little kids!

He didn't want power, not for anything like that! He had sought to become full demon, because it seemed the only way to gain acceptance, in the youkai world, at least. He'd wanted to be powerful enough to _make_ the other youkai accept him.

But Kikyo had shown him a different path. Become human, become part of human society, become accepted—and become loved. She had offered him love and a path out of a lonely existence. And in return, he could free her.

Inuyasha stared at the jewel trapped between his splayed fingers. If he willed the jewel to make him human, he would die. He would then be with Kikyo, in death if not life. Yet it wasn't what he truly wanted. He wanted Kikyo alive.

And little Korana. He blinked at the thought, then realized it was true. He could remember her sparkling eyes and smile when she had – somehow! – coaxed him down from the tree. He remembered her shy request to touch his ears, because they were so cute. He remembered how Kikyo had watched him, laughter in her eyes, silently daring him to refuse. He remembered how carefully and gently the little fingers had caressed his ears, and then the way she had thrown herself against him to wrap her arms around his neck in a hug.

His eyes burned. Korana shouldn't have died! A little kid, dying because some stupid monster wanted to make a stupid jewel more evil!

Pulling his hand free from the wood, Inuyasha picked up the Shikon no Tama with his claws. He stared at the glowing jewel through tears. "I don't want to become youkai," he whispered to the jewel. "I don't want any of your power for me. I want Naraku's victims to live. Kikyo, Korana, the villagers. Take my life, if you have to, but let them live."

He let the jewel drop into the palm of his hand, squeezing his eyes closed against the tears. One of those tears dropped, to land on the jewel. Eyes closed, he didn't see the dull pink glow take on a paler hue. Slowly, he closed his fingers over the Shikon No Tama. _Let them live, _he mouthed silently. _I don't care what happens to me—just let them live._

The jewel began to burn in his hand again, but this time with a pulsing rhythm. White light flared in front of his eyelids, beating in time to the heat in his hand. With each pulse, the light became more intense. It began to feel as it the light was sweeping through his body, as if he were only a shadow, or a mist. As if it were somehow dissolving him. It didn't hurt, but with each pulse made him feel less of himself.

It didn't matter, Inuyasha thought vaguely.

With the next pulse, he let himself go.

He fell into the white.

* * *

_Author's Note:_ Thanks to everyone who's reviewed the story so far. I'm glad all of you seem to be enjoying it. 

I do plan to finish this story, but it may be a week or so before the next chapter is posted. I'm rethinking that chapter (may add a scene), and I am very busy at work this week. If you have an account on add this story to your alert list; then you won't have to wonder when the next update is out. :)


	8. Chapter 8: Hanyo's Dreams

**An Arrow Not Burning. Part VIII: A Hanyo's Dreams**

Inuyasha closed his hand on the jewel. "No!" cried Kaede. "Please, don't!" Blinding light exploded about him. She cried out, hiding her eyes, her cry echoed by the others. When she could see again, a barrier was flickering around the hanyo. Wrenching free, Kaede ran back to the porch, stopping just short of the eldritch sphere, which continued below the surface of the porch. Its surface was crawling with white and red lightning: peering through the translucent barrier, she could see the same energies sparking along his body, making his hair dance as if in a fierce wind. He was lying prone, the horrific spike still jutting out of his back, his right arm hidden under his body. She could see the blood still seeping out from the wound, but she could not see if he was still breathing.

With a sob, Kaede went to her knees, unable to look any more. Pressing her hands together, she did the only thing she could. Pray. Pray that Inuyasha did not turn youkai. Pray that the jewel did not turn the hanyo evil….

* * *

He opened his eyes, and looked at – himself.

He stared at the human Inuyasha. Black-haired, clawless, fangless: only the vertical irises of his dark gray eyes hinted at anything extraordinary. He stared at the youkai Inuyasha, a form looking disconcertingly like a shorter Sesshomaru, but with a broader face, his eyes, a single lavender stripe rather than two magenta stripes decorating each cheek, and no forehead markings.

"What the—where am I? What the hell happened to me?"

His words came out of two mouths, in two voices, one sounding almost frightened, the other angry. He blinked, and the two images remained. The image of the youkai was not quite sharp, as if the eyes viewing it were not as keen as his. The image of the human was much clearer, but faintly surrounded by a faint aura of pale blue.

"Hanyo…"

The voice seemed to come from all around him. He felt his youkai head move slightly, trying to locate the source, while the eyes of the human shifted from side to side. He turned around, and discovered that he could see neither of his selves. He felt two legs take a step back, and two bodies bump.

"Who are you?" he demanded. The youkai voice held a growling snarl; he felt the human lips drawn back in a human's best effort of the same, while at the same time fear gusted through the human self. "Show yourself!"

Laughter rose around him, a single voice, yet, somehow, with the timber of many voices. The red mist around him was darkening. He momentarily glimpsed a head with his human eyes; a strange amalgam of a dragon's upper skull and a worm-demon's lower, semi-circular, toothed maw. His youkai eyes saw flashes of sprawling body with multiple, mismatched limbs. He cracked his knuckles, splaying his clawed fingers to their fullest extent. He curled his human hands into fists.

"What do you want, little hanyo?" asked the voice, while the laughter continued. "Such a mixed up mind, to match a mixed up body. Do you want to be youkai, or human?"

A harsh yearning came from the youkai side, and pained regret from the human side of him. "I wasn't asking for either," Inuyasha snapped. "Is this about the Shikon no Tama? Where am I? What did you do to me, and what do you want?"

The laughter was grating. His youkai form fractionally lowered his eyebrows, while the human grimaced. "Don't realize it yet, hanyo? You're _in_ the jewel, until we decide to let you go." A tentacle whipped out of the darkening mist and wrapped around the two forms, wringing a gasp out of one and a grunt out of the other. "You didn't really think a dirty, mis-bred _hanyo_ could purify us!"

"I wasn't trying to purify you, I was just wishing Kikyo and the others to live!"

Laughter echoed around him. "Oh, you can still have your wish, hanyo. All you have to do is give us what we want." A second tentacle lashed out, wrapping around the human while the other moved to encircle the youkai. Inuyasha gasped in pain as his two selves were violently pulled apart. "We'll even add to the wish – we'll save your life and turn you into the form you prefer. Just give us the half-soul you don't want."

"What! Like hell!" Inuyasha writhed in the paired grasps, managing to pull out one youkai arm. "The only thing I'm giving you is this—_Sankon Tessou!_" White slashes of light flew from his claws towards the tentacle holding his other self, where it joined the monster's body.

A roar of rage answered his attack, but before he could even wonder why the eldritch claws were white instead of gold, Inuyasha screamed as agony tore him. He was blind and falling, this time in darkness, until he landed on four paws. He staggered, recovered, and then ducked his head to stare at his white, furry forefeet. Before he could formulate a question in his mind, a thick odor snapped his head up, flattening his ears, bringing a growl to his throat. A one-eyed ogre stood before him, shrinking away. Inuyasha blinked, recognizing the youkai from the one that had attacked him the year before, for no reason except reason that he was hanyo. He snarled, baring his teeth, and the ogre wailed and went to his knees. Clasping his hands over his head, he abased himself.

"Please, taiyoukai, don't kill me!" the ogre babbled. "I'll do anything you want! "

_Youkai? _Tai_youkai?_ Inuyasha lowered his head and sniffed the shivering youkai. It was the same scent as before, once the odors of the earlier loathing and the current terror were allowed for. Bewildered, wondering how a youkai he had slashed into very little pieces a year before had come back to life, Inuyasha sniffed again. He also wondered why it seemed so small.

"Let him go, little brother. Killing such a piece of worthless trash isn't worth your time."

Inuyasha looked up, and saw Sesshomaru flying down towards him, a slight smile on his face that matched the faint amusement he had heard in his brother's voice. A smile? His brother?

Sesshomaru came to a halt just in front of his nose, abruptly making Inuyasha realize just how large his dog form was. Still faintly smiling, the older youkai gave a single shake of his head. "Turn into your other form, Inuyasha-kun: we need to talk."

Huh? Inuyasha would have asked Sesshomaru something rude, except that his body was already changing. He stifled a yelp as his body shrank and changed. Staggering a little on his two feet, he stared down at his hands. The fire-rat sleeves hadn't changed, but his hands had – longer, more slender, and with claws half-again their normal length. Dark lavender slashes decorated both wrists.

"Now that you got rid of those ridiculous dog ears, I might even be persuaded to introduce you to the rest of the inu clan." Inuyasha staggered as Sesshomaru clapped him on the back. "Let's go, little brother. There's a bunch of humans moving in across the border of our land. I think it's time we taught that scum a lesson."

_Our_ land? His older half-brother treating him as a real sibling, instead of an abomination to be hunted down and destroyed? What would he have given, over the years, to hear that tone of affection from his brother: to know that Sesshomaru accepted him as family, as equal? His heart gave a spasm of painful yearning – if only this were not a dream!

"Sesshomaru…"

The elder youkai turned and raised an eyebrow. "Otouto?"

"Why—are you treating me like this? I mean, you haven't—"

"What are you babbling about? How should I treat my little brother?"

"I, uh … well …" Inuyasha trailed off in confusion. Sesshomaru shook his head at him.

"Don't let yourself think too much, Inuyasha-kun." He gave the younger inu-youkai another swat on the back, sending him stumbling down the path. "Let's go destroy that band of stupid humans. When I think what their kind did to you as a little boy…" A faint growl rumbled out of the youkai's throat.

Inuyasha gasped a little as memories assaulted him. Memories of stinking, sweltering villages filled with over-worked, hungry, fearful, ill, and _smelly_ humans. Human faces, contorted with hate and fear, hands grasping spears, bows, or even hoes and pitchforks, all of them raised against a small, terrified boy. He remembered the curses and blows that fell on the small body attempting to escape. They had wanted to hurt him, kill him. He remembered his pain, his fear, his helpless anger. A growl rumbled through his own throat as his youkai blood heated. Red desire rose – he wanted to kill, and laugh at the killing. It would be good. So good, to feel the blood, to smell the blood, of those pathetic, weak-limbed, fearful little mortals—

"That's my little brother," chuckled Sesshomaru, patting him on the shoulder. "Shall we have a contest, to see who kills the most humans?"

Kill? Humans? Inuyasha came to a halt, as another memory came to him. A voice, a loved voice—a dying voice—asking him for a single promise. _Inuyasha, please promise me. Never kill humans except to protect yourself. I know it will be hard, because many people will look at you and fear you or hate you, but I want you to try. _

Inuyasha turned and stared at his brother, one part of his mind noticing that it was dark, and that he could only smell his brother. "I can't. Sesshomaru, I—I made a promise. To mother."

Sesshomaru stared at him a moment. "You'd keep a promise to a mere mortal? Don't be stupid, little brother."

"I'm not stupid! Look, why are the humans moving in? Have you talked to them, warned them off? Can't we just chase them off, without killing them?"

Sesshomaru faced him, putting both hands on his shoulders. His eyes flickered red, and the marks on his cheeks had thickened slightly. "Don't be a fool, Inuyasha. Promises to ningen mean nothing. You turned against your humanity when you chose to become youkai. Forget your promise. Forget the whore that seduced your father."

Inuyasha jerked backwards, repulsed. More, there was something wrong about Sesshomaru's words. Sesshomaru had never, in his recollection, referred to Izayoi in such fashion. His references to the relationship had always tended to cast the blame on their mutual father. And—'your' father?

He backed away. "This is a dream," he said, realizing what the lack of scents and sounds meant. "You're not my brother—you're an illusion. You're…" Anger stirred as he stared at the other figure, "you're what I _wanted_ Sesshomaru to be, not what he is." He stared at the dream version of his brother; a dream he thought he'd forgotten. "This is a dream," he repeated, eyes burning with a film of angry, hurt tears. "I am not youkai! I am hanyo! And if becoming youkai means turning against my mother's blood, then I refuse! I'll live and die what I am! Hanyo!"

The image of Sesshomaru vanished, replaced by the dragon-worm demon. The demon snarled at him. "Hanyo fool! If death is what you want, then death we'll give you!" The huge head—longer than Inuyasha was tall—lunged forward. Inuyasha leapt to avoid it, only to find the massive jaws moving faster than he had imagined. He slashed out with his claws, but nothing happened. The jaws slammed shut, driving the jagged teeth through his torso. Inuyasha gasped, then gratefully fell into the white wind that descended on him…

* * *

He saw the sword coming. His own sword rose in swift, unerring response. Steel clashed against steel, scraping, and then the one sword was moving down, out of position to attack or defend. Continuing the move, Inuyasha's sword swept in, then stopped a bare finger-width from the arm-master's neck. Staring at his opponent, Inuyasha held the pose for a moment, then sheathed his blade and bowed.

Inuyasha found himself mobbed by the other warriors as soon as the arms-master left, demanding to know how he had managed that maneuver. "No one's been able counter that move of his in two years," said one of the older men, frank admiration in his eyes. "How did you do it?"

Twitching his shoulders, both pleased and embarrassed, Inuyasha pulled off the helmet. "I – just practice a lot." Running his fingers through his sweat-matted bangs, he then reached for the cord binding his black hair and pulled it free. The other men laughed at his feeble sally.

"You're entirely too modest for a warrior," said one of other older men. "You'll never catch the daimyo's ear if you don't boast about yourself."

"Who needs to boast—you think the daimyo isn't watching every young samurai good enough to go against the arms-master with bare steel?"

"Ha! Who needs the daimyo's ear, when he's caught the daughter's eye? Didn't you notice how she was watching the other night?"

Inuyasha went beet red. He'd never even spoken to the young woman, but he'd been aware of her since his acceptance into the castle for training. She had sent an elderly retainer to make sure he was comfortable, and to give a few discreet suggestions on adapting to life as a would-be warrior. Those suggestions had proven invaluable, and he had been frustrated ever since in trying to figure out how to return the favor. It had gotten worse since he had glimpsed her face and been smitten by her beauty. He had tried to keep his reaction a secret, but the close quarters of the samurai made that impossible.

The abrupt blare of a horn silenced the men for a few seconds, until they identified that particular sequence. "It's the alarm!" "Youkai! Where?" "Who cares, fool! Arm up, arm up!"

Inuyasha joined the rush for their quarters, fingers flying at the ties of his battered practice armor even as he ran. The replacement armor was new and never tested, and he found his fingers fumbling once or twice as his stomach clenched in apprehension. After three years of training, he knew that he was faster and more agile than any of the others, and had keener vision and hearing. He was confident of his ability to defend himself and others against any human foe. But youkai? Any youkai attacking humans was almost by definition faster and stronger. It was said the strongest youkai could wipe out entire armies with a single wave of a hand.

"Come on, boy—you don't want to gain the daimyo's eye by being the last on your horse!"

Inuyasha slid his sword through his sash, and ran for the exit. Weaving and bobbing his way through the barely controlled chaos of the court yard, Inuyasha was surprised to find the surly, slab-sided equine assigned to him already bridled and saddled, standing quietly under the hand of a cloaked figure. "What—who are you?" he asked, reaching for the reins. "You shouldn't—"

"I came for you."

Inuyasha froze. The figure turned, and he swallowed hard. "Hime-sama? What are you doing here?"

She drew back the material shrouding her head. "I came for you," she repeated, in a soft voice barely above a whisper. "I chose you the day you walked through the gate. Father will not say me nay when I choose, and I will choose you." She stepped up to the astonished youth, clasped her hands to either side of his face, and pulled it down to plant a solid kiss on his lips. He made a small sound of surprise, then found himself returning the kiss. Hot desire burned through him, and he deepened the kiss, embracing her, in that moment wanting nothing other than to keep her in her arms, to have her and take her and be taken by her.

She broke the embrace, chuckling, placing one slender hand over his mouth. "I knew your passion could match mine, my dear."

Inuyasha pulled away, blushing furiously as he struggled to regain control over himself. "Hime-sama, f-forgive me, I-I should not have—"

"Of course you should have," she replied with a low laugh. "You did as I desired."

"B-but it's not right—"

She silenced him with a finger over his lips. "No more talk, my love. We will continue this when you return. For now, I have a gift." She pulled a slim dagger, in a pale, undecorated sheath out of her voluminous sleeve. "This dagger has power over youkai. It will penetrate any flesh, it will find the heart of whatever youkai you face."

He raised his hands. "I can't," he protested. "It's too valuable."

She dodged his protesting hands and slid the dagger into his sash just above his sword. "It is yours." Darting around him, she pushed him towards his horse. "Now go. Don't keep father waiting."

Utterly bewildered by the woman's behavior, Inuyasha obediently turned to his horse. Leading the gelding out of the stall, he mounted, keeping a firm grip on the reins. Unsurprised to be the last, Inuyasha cringed internally when the daimyo looked at him. But the cold gaze did not react or linger, and the steel-edged voice continued to rasp out orders. Inuyasha tried to concentrate on the man's words, and forget the embarrassing scene with the daimyo's daughter.

But it was hard to forget, as he rode his horse down the road as part of the group that would track down and destroy the giant bear youkai that had attacked one of the domain's villages. The knife against his side felt as if it were burning through his armor, and deep down, he was afraid. If anyone had noticed them in the stall, and reported it, he would be fortunate if the worse that happened was to be stripped and driven out of the castle. He would lose the camaraderie he had enjoyed the last few years. The bastard son of a noblewoman, he had grown up alone and lonely. He owed the daimyo everything, for taking the risk of accepting a neighbor's illegitimate grandson into training. All he had – and everything he had – was the daimyo's for the asking. Arms, honor, life. And none of it, he wanted to lose.

They pulled up at the top of the hill above the village, to breathe the horses, and look over the situation before they progressed further. They could see bodies strewn between the houses that lined the road, and more out near one of the fields. One house was burning; others had been demolished and heavily damaged. Wails and sobs were rising from the few survivors as they moved among the dead.

The daimyo cursed, then spoke quietly to his second in command. Feeling an odd unease, Inuyasha stood in his stirrups for a better look at the valley. He found his gaze drawn in the direction opposite of the fields. The woods came down to the river there, but he remembered a meadow not far from the houses, that was not quite visible from the hilltop because of the summer foliage. Narrowing his eyes, Inuyasha concentrated. He was certain he heard growling and snarling coming from that area. But was it what he thought it was? He heard a higher-pitched howl of pain, and a flash of dusty white. "My lord!" he yelled. "I think the youkai may be in the south meadow – I can hear fighting!"

"Are you sure?" The cold eyes met his. Inuyasha tried not to think of the knife at his waist.

"Yes, my lord."

The lord considered a moment, then made a decision with a sharp nod of his head. "Jiro," he ordered his second, "take a third of the men with the fastest horses, find any survivors, and organize them to be ready to flee to the castle. Inuyasha, you're with me—the rest of you follow!"

Inuyasha gulped and kneed his horse over to join the lord, and then urged the horse into a run as the other took off down the hill. Side by side, they drew ahead of the others, adding another knot to the young man's stomach. "We'll slow down before we hit the trees," said the daimyo with a breathy laugh, as if reading Inuyasha's mind. "Don't hesitate to use that little trinket my daughter gave you," he continued. "Once we take care of this youkai, then we'll find time to talk, son."

It took all of Inuyasha's will not to pull up his horse. The daimyo knew? And apparently approved? One part of him felt a glow of anticipation, but the rest of him just felt scared. It didn't make sense, any of it. Not the girl's actions, or her father's reaction.

They turned the horses between two of the worst damaged houses, then pulled to a halt at the trees. "Not enough room in the meadow to use the horses," muttered the daimyo, leaping off his horse. He glanced over his shoulder. "Hurry up, you men!" The yowls and roars were audible to everyone now. "From the sounds of it, we'll have two heads to show off tonight!"

They entered the meadow and Inuyasha drew a sharp breath. A cat youkai, huge and long-toothed, with two tails and black markings, was facing off against a massive, three-eyed bear youkai, who was at least twice her height at the shoulder, and more massive in proportion. Both youkai were wounded, but the feline was clearly the worse off. Inuyasha wondered why she hadn't fled, then saw the figures behind her. "My lord, look!" he shouted. "The neko—she's protecting the children!"

"What!" The daimyo looked, then swore. "Kotaro, two flights of arrows at the bear, then get your bowmen between the demons and the villagers! The rest of you, split into two groups – we'll get on either side of the bear, and take him down first!"

The bear whipped his head around as the daimyo started shouting orders. He snarled, whirled, and charged straight towards the men. A flight of arrows was loosed, but too many hastily and poorly aimed. There was no second flight as the bear attacked. Inuyasha's shoulder rammed the daimyo out of the way of a descending paw. Inuyasha's blade, raised above his head in defense, snapped a foot from the hilt as it took the blow, but not before slicing deeply into the youkai's paw. The bear howled and reared back, giving Inuyasha the opportunity to dash out of range. Dancing backwards, he saw the bear's head tracking him. In a kind of madness, Inuyasha laughed. "Hey, stupid!" he yelled, continuing to move back, the broken sword still in his hand. "Want to try that again? Next time, I'll take the entire leg!"

The bear snarled, and rose higher, starting to pivot on his hind legs. Inuyasha tensed, readying for a race he knew he couldn't win. And then, as he had hoped, the neko struck. The bear howled and crashed onto his side, just missing the desperately back-pedaling human. Sheathing his blade, Inuyasha reversed course and jumped, landing on the youkai's shoulders. A second leap took him to the top of the bear's neck. Letting his feet slide down either side of the neck, as if straddling a horse, Inuyasha grabbed a handful of coarse fur with his left hand, then pulled the sword out in a reversed grip with his right. Leaning forward as far as he could, he slammed the end of the broken blade into the youkai's left eye.

The howl was a screech of agony. As the bear struggled to get to his feet, throwing off the neko, Inuyasha slashed through the right eye, and then, releasing his grip on the fur, used both hands on the hilt to plunge the jagged end of the blade as hard as he could into the central eye.

The bear youkai rose to its full height, roaring. Arms and legs straining to the utmost, Inuyasha strove to work the blade deeper. Through slitted eyes, he saw the neko leap for the bear's throat. The impact shook him loose of his precarious grip. Having seen it coming, he managed to get enough of a kick against the bear's neck to send him sideways, as the neko's leap took the bear over backwards. He managed to tuck, and hit the ground rolling. Breathless and nearly senseless, he looked up in time to see the bear youkai's body go limp. Immediately, it began to dissipate and shrink. The neko released her grip and lifted her head. Red eyes met his. Leveraging himself up to a seated position, Inuyasha grinned at her.

"You were fighting to protect those children, weren't you?" he asked. Her eyes blinked, and then she pulled herself off the remnants of the dead youkai and staggered towards him. She came to a trembling stop within arm's length, and started to extend her muzzle. Then she pulled her head back, black ears flattening. Inuyasha blinked, then realized what she was looking at. "Oh, sorry." He pulled the dagger and its hilt out of his sash. For a moment, he considered setting it down, then sighed and tucked it in his sash in the back. He extended a hand for her to sniff. "Can you talk?"

Her ears drooped, and she sighed. "But you can understand me?" She rumbled a soft purr and rubbed her head against his hand. Reaching up, he scratched behind her ears for a moment. "You were great."

She gave him a long, steady look, then purred for just a second. Turning away, she started to limp towards the river, one tail not quite dragging the ground. Inuyasha watched her, wishing he had the knowledge and skill to tend her wounds. He didn't know how he knew, but he knew she had deliberately fought to protect the children. He liked her, and wished there were a way to be friends with her. If only they were not youkai and human—

"Archers, take your aim!"

Inuyasha snapped his head around, and saw the handful of unwounded archers drawing back their bows. "No!" Lurching to his feet, he staggered over to place himself between the neko and the archers. "My lord, let her go!" he called, searching for the daimyo. "She killed the bear, she saved the children, let her go!"

A gesture from the daimyo dropped the bows to point the arrows down. The lord walked towards Inuyasha, stopping a length away. "You still have the knife my daughter gave you."

Inuyasha felt the red creeping up his face. "Yes, my lord." He retrieved the scabbard from behind his back and held it out, unable to look at the lord's face.

"My daughter chooses where she wills, and the man she chooses will be my heir. You would not mind being a daimyo, would you not, bastard grandson of a daimyo? You would like to possess my daughter?"

Inuyasha felt his face redden further. The young woman was very beautiful. He had dreamed—how could he not have dreamed? Of having her for his wife. Of being the daimyo's heir, of visiting his grandfather's domain, and watching all of the people who had made his childhood a torture bowing to him. Part of him wanted all that, oh, so very much. And yet… "My lord," he said, "your daughter does me great honor. But I—I am not worthy of her. Or you. What happened in the stable, I—what I did was not honorable."

The daimyo snorted. "I will decide what is honorable where my daughter is concerned. Look at me, Inuyasha."

He met the cold, black eyes. "My daughter gave you a weapon to use. Why didn't you?"

"My lord, I…" Inuyasha had to struggle to keep his eyes on the daimyo. "I—I was not worthy of the gift."

"If my daughter thinks you worthy enough to give it to you, you are worthy," snapped the daimyo. "And she expected you to use it."

"My lord."

"Use it to kill the neko."

Inuyasha flinched. "My lord!" he protested. "She helped us!"

The black eyes were unyielding. "You swore to obey me. Kill the neko."

He blanched. Slowly, he looked behind him. The neko had turned back, and was watching him with those calm, red, _knowing_ eyes. As he watched, she folded her legs and went to the ground with a groan. _No!_ he cried to her in his mind. _Run away! Don't make me do this!_ She looked at him; ears cocked forward, only her bleeding sides moving as she breathed. Sweat trickling down his face, Inuyasha turned back to the lord and went to his knees. "I cannot."

"You will use the blade." A sword scrapped a scabbard, and the tip of the daimyo's sword appeared before Inuyasha's eyes, not quite touching the grass. "You will use it on the neko – or you will use it on yourself."

His dreams collapsed, turned to nightmare. Inuyasha thought of the neko, and knew he could not kill that brave and compassionate youkai. He was bound in service to the lord, and that, in honor, gave him only one choice. Willing his hands not to tremble, he set the blade before him, and then reached up to unfasten his helmet. It went carefully to the ground beside him. Piece by piece, he undid his upper armor, stacking it neatly. Pulling open his kimono, Inuyasha picked up the knife and unsheathed it. He looked up at the daimyo. "I obey you, my lord." He hesitated a second, as if hoping at the last moment, the man might relent. The cold eyes and expressionless face did not change.

A blade keen enough to severe any youkai flesh was more than adequate to slice through human flesh. Left to right, then a second stab, cutting upwards. The bloody knife dropped from his hand. He ground his teeth together to keep from making a sound as the oddly familiar agony poured over him. Distantly, he heard the metallic scrape and click as the daimyo sheathed his sword.

And then, the daimyo laughed.

Inuyasha realized, then. This was not life, but only another dream. And not just a dream, but another from his childhood, perverted, used against him. The daimyo was the demon of the jewel, and it was laughing at him. Eyes opening, he saw the daimyo's figure blurring, shifting, enlarging, saw the green grass and trees and other human figures blur and fade into roiling, purple-black clouds. "Curse you!" he screamed, trying, and failing, to gain his feet. "Stop doing this to me! I will not give you what you want! I will not turn human or kill innocent youkai for you!"

The demon continued to laugh. Something like a tail struck him across his middle, sending him flying backwards. He felt the white nothingness reaching for him, and screamed in rage and frustration, realizing that he was caught in a trap that he didn't know how to break, that the demon would continue to use his dreams against him, until something happened that forced or seduced him into giving the demon what he wanted. _I won't give in!_ he shouted to himself, yet he knew the defiance was ultimately useless, for how could he escape?

He started to fall.

A cat's roar came faintly to his ears. Something like fangs sank into his shoulder, but it didn't hurt. The white turned pale pink. He felt as if there was warm fur beneath his fingers, urging him to hold on. Or perhaps it was his mother's arms, holding him close. He didn't know. He only knew, this time, he did not fall alone.


	9. Chapter 9: Hanyo's Soul

**An Arrow Not Burning, Part IX: A Hanyo's Soul**

The fall seemed to change into an inward drawing. Then he was resting on a surface invisible in the pinkish mist. He tried to sit up, and cried out as agony sliced through his belly. Dark red floated before his eyes, and he realized he couldn't remember who he was. He could remember the dream of being youkai, and the other of being a human warrior. But who was he? Where was he? What was he?

"Shhh." A female voice spoke gently out of the mist. A hand touched his head, and the edge of a shallow cup touched his lips. "Drink. This will help."

He drank. The liquid was warm and salty, but it cleared his head, and dissipated the pain in his belly, reducing it to an ache. Opening his eyes as the cup disappeared, he looked down at his hands braced against the unseen ground. They were clawed, and the wrists here hidden beneath voluminous red sleeves. Fire-rat sleeves.

"Who are you?" asked the voice, now coming from behind him.

"Inuyasha," he said, remembering. "In the jewel…"

"Not quite," murmured the woman. "At this moment, it could as truly be said that the jewel is inside you. Now, who are you?"

He frowned. "I told you. Inuyasha."

"But who is Inuyasha?"

He felt his ears lowering. "A hanyo," he muttered bitterly.

"Who is Inuyasha?"

The old anger rose. "A hanyo!" he shouted, digging his claws into the palms of his hands. "A stupid, ugly, worthless, abomination of a hanyo that should have never been born!" The pain in his belly pulsed as he shouted the epithets that had been dinned into his ears so often that part of him had come to believe those descriptions. "A dirty half-breed to be killed on sight—"

The hand on his head stopped the bitter litany. "If the hanyo is worthless, then how is it that he nearly purified the Shikon No Tama?"

Inuyasha started. "Nani?"

The mist before him shimmered, then cleared to reveal an image of his hand, with the slightly too-long claws releasing the glowing, pinkish-red jewel. As the long fingers started to close around the sphere, a glittering tear fell. It landed on the jewel, and appeared to be absorbed by it. The jewel paled in color, brightening. "Your miko regained her heart, conquering her bitterness and hatred, before she died," said the voice. "That removed much of the stain she caused, when she thought you had betrayed her. The selflessness of your wish removed nearly all of the rest."

"Then why didn't my wish work?" demanded Inuyasha. "The first time, the jewel tried to turn me into a youkai. Then the second time, when I wished for all of Naraku's victims to live, why did I get pulled into this – dream world, or whatever it is? Why was the demon able to try to make me change my mind? Make me live those dreams? And who are you, anyway?"

"This was the soul that in its last life belonged to Modoriko." The voice came from in front of him, and Inuyasha looked up as a human woman took shape before him. He blinked in surprise, when he saw the strange armor over her clothing, and even stranger, the long sword belted at her side. That detail alone convinced him that the demon wasn't trying to use his own dreams against him again, for never had he imagined a human woman with a sword and armor.

Her dark eyes were mildly amused, as if she read his thoughts. "Like your miko," she continued, "Modoriko possessed great spiritual powers—and enemies among the youkai. Like your foe, many of them merged with a foolish human who lusted after the miko's body. The demon was strong—far stronger than your Naraku. For seven days and seven nights they fought. When, at last, her body failed her, Modoriko made the only choice she saw, to prevent the demon from surviving. She pulled the demon's soul into her own, binding them together, and then thrust them from her heart. Modoriko and the demon died, but the souls remained in the world, crystallized into the Shikon No Tama.

Inuyasha winced at the thought of being bound to one's enemy. "How … long…?" he asked softly.

The figure shrugged. "There is no time in the jewel. Only the eternal battle, of good versus evil, of light versus dark. And so it will continue, until the day the jewel is utterly purified." Inuyasha looked away, appalled at the thought of such endless entrapment. "It is not the same for a soul, as for an incarnate being, young hanyo," she said, again divining his thought.

He looked up. "But you do want the battle ended."

She looked suddenly weary, with ancient eyes. "The Shikon No Tama has caused much pain in the world, and little good. The world would be better if the souls were purified, and the jewel were dissolved."

He looked down, shoulders slumped, feeling as if a bit of her weariness had descended on him. "My wish to become human was supposed to purify the jewel," he said in a low voice. "With Kikyo's help, to guard against my youkai blood. But Naraku intervened … and my wish on the jewel wasn't good enough. Because I'm hanyo…"

"Your hanyo nature was not your problem."

Surprised, Inuyasha looked up. "What do you mean?"

Her eyes were distant, measuring him. He felt the strength of her gaze, and had to force himself not to lower his ears or shrink back.

"The purity of a soul does not depend upon the blood of the being that contains it," she said. "Those who fought on Modoriko's side were not all human, and those who opposed her were not all youkai. The neko, whose form I borrowed when I entered your dream, was one such."

He blinked. "Why did you do that?"

"To test your heart. To provide a true choice."

"Choice?"

"Yes. The knife was a trap. Had you used it against the bear youkai, as intended, it would have bound you to the demon. You would have seen no reason not to use it against the bear, once you were desperate enough."

"If I had used it against the neko?"

"The evil would have stained your soul irredeemably." Her eyes were cold. "You recognized her true nature."

He winced and nodded. "But I did use the blade."

"That was the trap. Use the blade against your enemy or yourself, and your willing use would allow the demon's poison to enter you. Refuse the order of one you remembered swearing fealty to, and your lack of honor would itself bind you to his bidding."

He looked down, pressing his hand against his painful belly. "Then there's nothing I can do?"

"You are not doomed. Not yet. Take my hand."

He looked up to see Modoriko's spirit standing above him, offering her hand. He accepted her assistance in climbing to his feet, biting back a gasp of pain. He blinked when he realized that she stood as tall as he. Her black eyes were at a level with his, and so penetrating that he felt she must be able to see every thought and emotion in his head. He wanted to look away, and his ears wanted lower themselves like a cowed puppy's. He forced himself to meet her gaze. "What do I do?"

Her eyes might have warmed, for just a moment. "Because you used the blade only to preserve your honor, the demon has but a partial hold over you. You can reject that hold."

"How?"

"You must look within your soul, young hanyo." The miko's voice seemed more distant, and her eyes, if anything, seemed to sadden. "You have love. You have learned, if only recently, that friendship is not outside your reach." Inuyasha blinked at that, then thought of Korana. What was it she had offered, if not a child's friendship? And Kikyo, at first—he hadn't loved her, not when they had first started talking—was that friendship? "As for wisdom…"

He managed a bit of his usual bluster. "Keh. If I had wisdom, I wouldn't have let Kikyo pin me to a tree so many times."

To his surprise, the spirit chuckled. "No, that was not wisdom. However, to know one is not wise; to have the humility to accept that one may and will be wrong about many things – that is the start of wisdom."

His ears twitched. He had no illusions that he was intelligent – he'd been called stupid too many times to think otherwise. "I'm not wise," he stated, a bit defensively. As for _humble--!_

Her voice held a ghost of her chuckle. "You are but young, my hanyo. There is wisdom in your soul, once you learn to seek it. That is not your weakness, where the demon is concerned." She gave him a long look.

"Your weakness is your fear."

Inuyasha started, his ears flicking fully upright, then flattening in sheer indignation. "I am not afraid!"

"You are afraid. You are afraid of living your life as a hanyo."

Inuyasha flinched. "I'm not—"

"You are." Her voice was quiet; not condemning, but with no prevarication. "The life of a hanyo can be a terrible one, and is too often short, and filled with loneliness and fear. But rather than seeking to rise above your fate, to live your life to its fullest despite the trials, you have sought to evade your fate, to change what you are. For most of your life, you have sought to become youkai. When your miko suggested the alternative, you agreed to become human."

Inuyasha shared at her, stunned. He had never thought of his desires in terms of courage. He was brave—he knew he was brave—how many youkai had he refused to run away from? "I'm not a coward!" he snarled, bristling.

"I did not call you that. Your desire to be youkai or human—that is not, of itself, your weakness. All ensouled beings have their dark side: their hates, their selfish wants, their desire to do what is easy instead of what is right. That you have never fought this desire to be only half of what you are: that you sought an easy path to acceptance, by becoming less than what you are – that is your weakness. That is why your wish—without your miko's help—could not purify the jewel. The demonic half of the jewel sensed your heart's deepest, uncontested desire, reached for it, touched it, and kept the purification incomplete."

He stared at her, frozen between dismay and indignation. His desire to be youkai was the reason his wish had not come true? He had failed, not because he was a hanyo, but because he didn't want to be a hanyo? Because he was afraid to be a hanyo?

That was ridiculous! He wasn't afraid—of anything! He wasn't, wasn't—

The pale mist suddenly shuddered with a reverberating 'boom,' and flashed dull red. "Give us the hanyo!" howled a multi-timbered voice. "The hanyo is ours! We will absorb his soul!"

The pain in his belly exploded into fire. Inuyasha crumpled to his hands and knees with a choked cry as the fire flashed into every part of his body. He felt his body start to transform, as it had when he first picked up the jewel. "No!" he cried. "I will not transform! I am hanyo!"

The laughter boomed around him. "You cannot resist us, pitiable hanyo. Come to us. Give in to your dark nature. Be one with us, rejoice in the dark, in the power."

"Never!" But the fire in his body was bringing him to his feet. He tried to resist, snarling, but his feet insisted on moving. Through a red mist, he saw the merge demon take form, laughing. It was reaching for him with a clawed hand. "Won't – go," he growled. But his body would not obey him, and a whimper stuck in his throat, wanting to crawl out.

Pink-tinged lightning split the air between him and the demon. The demon howled in pain and vanished. Inuyasha staggered backwards and sat down, the pull suddenly vanished, his face wet. Blinking the stinging liquid out of his eyes, he looked up to find Modoriko standing between him and where the demon had been, her sword drawn, glimmering with power. She met his gaze.

"You have little time, young hanyo," she told him. "When the demon recovers, he will seek to draw you to him again. And your tear will not protect you a third time."

"Tear?"

"Your tear that nearly purified the jewel. I used it when I brought you here, but its power is limited."

Inuyasha didn't understand how a simple tear could have done what the spirit claimed, but wasn't going to ask. "What do I do?"

"You must reject the poison that ties you to the demon. You must push the poison in your dream-body out."

"Dream body?"

"This is your dream world, Inuyasha. The power of the jewel affects it, but you can still shape it. Will the poison you feel to shrink, to exit your body. Reject your desire to change. Face the fear of being hanyo, and conquer it. Embrace what you are."

"Embrace…?" he queried, ears lowered. "What's good about being a hanyo?"

"Is there no good in Inuyasha?" she countered. "Did you not declare that you would rather live and die as hanyo, than to be youkai, if it meant breaking your word to your mother? Did you not have the courage to die, rather than slay an innocent neko? Did you not offer your life, if it would let others live?"

His ears rose as his reactive bitterness eased. "Every ensouled being has the potential for good or evil, young one," she continued. "Those words thrown at you all your life are not you." A faint smile crossed her lips. "Surely the man a miko falls in love with, is not entirely worthless?"

He blushed, but at the same time felt the pang of grief, felt his eyes sting. _Kikyo._ Pushing himself forward into a cross-legged position, he closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. He would defeat this poison, and that demon. If only for the sake of the love Kikyo had given him. He would not give in!

The demon's poison had receded to his torso, but it flickered at him, waiting its chance to spring outward. It laughed at him. Inuyasha snarled, and willed it to shrink. _I am Inuyasha,_ he told it silently, _and you are no part of me! I am hanyo, and you will not change me!_

It resisted his pressure, and laughed at him. _Are you sure you want to be hanyo? Are you sure you want to suffer a hanyo's fate?_ It threw images at him, images of death. Youkai captured him, bound him, then tore him to pieces with their claws, slowly. A miko's arrow slammed into his shoulder, sending him to the ground writhing in pain, unable to escape as humans gathered with their swords and spears and axes, and chopped him apart, ignoring his screams. Inuyasha snarled, and tore the images to shreds with a contemptuous slash of claws.

_You think I'm afraid of dying, baka? _he jeered. _Try something else! I am hanyo, I am Inuyasha, and I do not fear pain or dying!_

_Oh, but you do fear this, do you not, little hanyo?_

He was suddenly in the middle of a crowd, of humans and youkai. He was chained hand and foot to a post, kneeling, forced to look up at those surrounding him. They looked down at him with disgust and hatred on their faces. He snarled at them in defiance, denying the fear of what they would do to him. One of the demons smirked at him, cracking the knuckles of his clawed hand. Inuyasha glared at him, ears flattened against his skull, prepared to take whatever pain the demon inflicted on him.

But a human spoke up. "Why bother with it? It's only a hanyo. Let's go."

And they turned on their heels, all of them, and left. Inuyasha stared after them, surprised. The air darkened, and the world expanded in his senses. An empty world. He was at the center of an empty universe. _Is that what you want, little hanyo?_ Whispered the poison's voice. _To be hanyo is to be alone. No one cares for you. No one cares about you. You will live and die alone. Alone. All alone…_

Inuyasha whimpered, shaking as the fear seized him, as the unbearable sense of loneliness threatened to overwhelm him. So alone! His mother had died, and her people had exiled him, still a child, driving him away with words of contempt and disdain. He had tried to find someone who liked him, who would care for him, who would help him, and there had been no one. No one! In grief and despair, he had turned to anger, lashing out, telling himself that he needed no one. But anger could not take away the dark nights with no one to share his space. It could not take away the terror of the nights of the new moon, when he was so terribly vulnerable in his human form. It could not cover that gaping void in his heart, the part of him that not only wanted, but needed a friend.

_You have no friends,_ whispered the voice. _A hanyo will never have friends. But you can change that. A youkai _needs_ no friends. Join us, become one with us. We will give you power. Such power. Beautiful, dark power._

"No!" Inuyasha forced his eyes open, and found that he had curled up on his side into a tight, ball. Shaking, his teeth clenched tightly against sobs from the pain of the howling void of loneliness clawing in his heart, he forced himself back into his seated position. "I will not join you!" He snarled, fighting the image at the center of his being. "I am Inuyasha, I am hanyo, I will not turn youkai or human, no matter how alone I am!"

But the fear slammed over him again, and he was once again in the desolate, dark, entirely lonely universe, curled up in a little ball, whimpering in fear and loneliness. The universe shook with laughter. _You are a fool. Why suffer in aloneness, when you don't need to? Come to us. We will erase your fear. We will fill you with other things. Power. Hate. Let us consume your fear. Let us be part of you. No loneliness, ever again. You will be one with us._

Inuyasha forced himself to uncurl. "I – will – not," he forced out between clenched teeth. He stood up, shaking and soaked in fear-sweat. "I – will – not!" He forced himself to open his eyes, and stare out at the endless, empty plain beneath the dull, dark, empty sky. "I – can – take – being – alone!" He stared at the dark plain, shaking under the waves of fear and loneliness. "I would rather be alone, forever, than be part of you!" The darkness faded a little. "I don't want your power! I don't want your hate! You have nothing I want!" He stared at the darkness, and turned into the wind of his fear. "I would rather be myself, and alone, than to accept any part of your evil!"

The buffeting fear faded. Inuyasha breathed it in, and found his terror gone. It left room for a thought.

He laughed. A laugh caught against tears and terrible heartache, yet still a laugh. "And this isn't the truth! I'm not alone!" He lashed out with his claws. The empty universe shredded, tore itself to pieces and disappeared. "I'm not alone!" Inuyasha stared at the demon on the other side of Modoriko's barrier, and laughed again, even as tears swam down his cheeks.

"I have my mother! I have my father!" he told the snarling demon. "Mother cared for me, comforted me, loved me! And father – he was taiyoukai, he was the Inu No Taisho, and he died saving a ningen and a hanyo! A hanyo! Me!"

"But they're dead, you fool!" roared the demon.

"What of it?" he retorted. "As long as I remember them, as long as I remember their love, I'm not alone! And if one woman can look beyond the hanyo to see his heart, then so can others! If one child can hug a hanyo and want to pet his ears, then so can others!"

He ripped his fingers down and through his chest and belly, white, eldritch claws catching the poison and pulling it out. He trembled a moment, then steadied, willing body and clothing to wholeness. Holding up the twitching, purple-black mass, he stared defiantly at the demon. "You want me, do you?" he challenged. "Then, take this!"

He squeezed, white-tipped claws sinking into the mass. The demon screamed as the mass writhed, then started to change, paling in color from nearly black to nearly white. The twitching tendrils receded into the mass, which shrank into a sphere. "Here! Have your little gift back!"

Inuyasha threw the transformed sphere. It passed through the barrier, shedding the last of its color as it did so. It hit the demon in its open mouth. The demon choked, then screamed, rearing and clawing at its throat.

"Now we finish it. With your permission?"

"Hai." Inuyasha didn't know or care what he agreed to. He discovered that a moment later, as the white mist shrank into him. The soul stuff was a flood of power beyond his wildest imagining, and his will and mind might have crumpled beneath it, save for the hands that seemed to hover around his head, supporting him. _Take the sword,_ directed Modoriko's voice. _You know how to use it_. He found himself holding her long, slender sword in both hands. It glimmered with light, and then began to blaze as some of the power of the soul poured down his hands into the blade. _Now strike, and purify._

He looked over at the demon. It stared back at him, snarled, and charged. Inuyasha smirked, waited, then sprang into the air. The demon tried to follow, but he expertly evaded its moves. He had had plenty of practice, after all. But this time, instead of claws, he had a sword.

He lifted the sword above his head, and then brought it down on the demon's back, just behind the foremost set of limbs. The demon screamed, crashing onto its belly, limbs and multiple heads jerking spasmodically as the white sword sank deep. "No, please!" the voices screamed. "Don't do this! We'll give you anything, everything!"

"Keh. Baka, all of you." Inuyasha tightened his grip on the sword, ignoring the flailing claws and tentacles near him—most of which were much bigger than him. They were no danger, after all. This was his dream world, and the demon could no longer hurt him. "Now!"

Power flooded out of him, down the sword, and into the spirit demon. It shrieked as it was filled with light, bleaching its scales, horns, and claws to translucency. It popped, disintegrating, leaving behind a black sphere. The sword's edge pressed against it, keening, pulsing with power. Beat by beat, the sphere paled towards white. It burst apart into the many souls it once had been. Wailing, they tried to escape, but Inuyasha swung the sword around them, entrapping them in a sphere of fire. They paled to pure white, then dissipated, popping out of existence. Only one remained, stubbornly clinging to a reddish hue.

"Foolish man," said Modoriko's voice through his mouth, with a sigh. "Even if I had not been miko, you would never have had me – you understood nothing of women." The soul seemed to glower. "Go. And next life—try not to be so foolish." Under the direction of a will not his own, the sword moved in a complicated gesture. The human soul squealed and popped out of existence.

Slowly, Inuyasha lowered the tip of the sword to the surface. There was nothing left in this dream space, nothing but himself, and Modoriko's soul within him, lighting the space around him. Looking down, he saw that his hands appeared to be translucent, the bones and tendons shining through his skin. His sleeves were also translucent, almost entirely bleached of color. He began to feel hollow, as if he had thinned to a shell of glass, against which the soul's enormous power was beating. He staggered.

_Let go of the sword._ Obeying the voice in his mind, Inuyasha forced his fingers to open. The sword began to fall, then flashed into a sphere of expanding light. Inuyasha started to fling up an arm to protect his eyes, then found himself abruptly frozen as the power exploded out of him. For an immeasurable moment, he was at the center of a heatless, flameless fire, unable to move, unable to breathe, unable to feel anything but the power flaring outward from him in all directions.

And then it was gone. He crumpled to the surface, empty and helpless, feeling as if he were skin wrapped around—nothing. For a long moment, that was all he was. Nothing. Empty.

And then his skin began to burn, from the inside. The burning spread inward, prickles and sparks, filling his body, filling it with pain. It hurt. He tried to imagine himself immersed in a cool stream of water, but the dreamscape refused to change. His belly and his left arm began to sear with pain worse than the burning. He wanted to scream, but his body could manage no more than faint whimpers.

A hand, burning hot, touched his cheek. "I feared this," he heard Modoriko say. Managing to open his eyes a fraction, he saw her now-ghostly form kneeling by him. "Your soul is mostly human. I hoped it would be enough, on this plane, to protect your youkai blood, when I merged our souls and power. I was wrong—but there was no choice, if the jewel were be destroyed."

"The jewel – it's – gone?" he managed to whisper.

She smiled. "Yes, my brave, young hanyo. You did well."

He sighed and closed his eyes, letting the pain take over. "Am I … dying?" he wondered.

"Oh, I doubt that," came her voice, with a faint chuckle. "You are a very stubborn boy."

"Keh. Not a boy."

"Young man." He felt fingers comb through his bangs. "Go to sleep, young hanyo."

"Sleep." That was what he wanted; whether for a while or forever didn't matter. "Modoriko?"

"Hai?"

"Thanks."

A finger traced something on his forehead. "You are welcome, Inuyasha. And I thank you." The finger continued it movement a second longer. "May all the gods bless you, my young hanyo. May you always remember; you are indeed worthy of love. Sayonara."

Her presence faded, or perhaps it was only his awareness disappearing.

He welcomed the nothingness that cloaked him.


	10. Chapter 10: Obsession

**An Arrow Not Burning, Part X: Obsession**

Kaede was not her sister, but she had enough of the miko's powers to sense when the barrier over Inuyasha abruptly collapsed. Startled, she looked up, then climbed to her feet and eased closer to the porch. She could still feel the Shikon No Tama's power, swirling and churning. It hadn't lessened in strength – if anything, it felt to have gained intensity. But it seemed to be coming from only a single point.

When she got to the porch, she could see a faint glow coming from under Inuyasha's chest. Standing on her toes, she tried to get a look at his face. What she could see was caked with blood, though the gashes seemed to have stopped oozing. What was surprising was the expression on his face. He looked to be smiling—

Light exploded outward, even brighter than the first explosion. Kaede yelped and jumped backwards, tripped and fell. Pain sliced through her wounded face, and she cried out. But her voice was lost in the greater scream that came from the hanyo.

The girl tried to get to her feet, but could only manage to sit up, her right arm sheltering her face. She was surrounded by a cascade of pure soul-power rushing out from a center that was occupied by the screaming hanyo. It terrified her, that scream, but she was helpless, caught in the periphery of the jewel's power.

Just as abruptly as it had started, it all stopped. Power, scream, and her own pain. Gingerly, she lowered her arm, apprehensive of another blast. But as the moments passed, she realized that there would not be another. The overwhelming sensation of power was gone. There was only the faintest glow, akin to the warmth of embers that were not quite dead.

Shakily, she got to her feet, and staggered to the stairs. "Kaede-kun," came a voice behind her, which she recognized as belong to the headman. "Is it over?"

"I-I don't know. Stay back!" Clinging to the railing, she pulled herself up the steps. Carefully avoiding looking at her sister's body, Kaede side-stepped along the porch until she came to Inuyasha's body. Letting herself thump down to her hands and knees, she examined him.

The first thing she noticed was that the claw was gone from his back. There was a raw wound in his back, just missing his spine, as large as her fist, oozing blood that made its way to the already soaked floor-boards via several narrow streams. His shoulders were also wet with blood, halfway down his shoulder blades and his upper arms, where the skin was starting to bubble in a mass of blisters. Most of the cuts and bites appeared to have stopped bleeding, but the left forearm was leaking blood in a steady stream.

Kaede bit her lip to keep from crying. What was she going to do? She didn't begin to have Kikyo's skill or knowledge, and she didn't know of anyone in the village who knew even as much as she did! And there was something wrong with Inuyasha besides the visible wounds, she just didn't know what. He was going to die if someone didn't care properly for him—but she didn't know enough! And her sister was dead, and she was all alone in the world, and she didn't know how to save the person she was certain her sister had loved—

"Where is it? Where is the Shikon No Tama!"

Kaede jumped, slamming her back into the railing as she tried to turn and straighten at the same time. As cries and gasps of surprise and fear rose behind her, she stared, mouth agape in disbelief. Kikyo! Her sister; her _dead_ sister, was—

Sitting up, hands clenched about the broken necklace, eyes wide and staring. Alive.

Kaede shook. She tried to say something, but it took her three tries to get anything past her lips. "S-s-s-sister--?"

Kikyo's head whipped about. Kaede almost flinched as she came under a gaze that was wild-eyed and glassy. "Kaede. The jewel. What's happened to it? I can't sense it anywhere!"

"I-inu – Inuyasha t-took it."

"What?" The glassy eyes blinked, and rage began to form in their depths. "But he said he didn't betray me! Are you saying he was lying!"

_Betrayal!_ "H-he took the jewel after you d-died," stammered Kaede, shrinking back. "H-he used it."

"What? The fool!" Kikyo started to get to her feet, then fell back as Kaede's words obviously penetrated. Blinking several times, she stared at her sister. "'Died'?"

Swallowing, Kaede nodded. "After you destroyed the demon. You—you just fell over, a-and when we got to you, y-you w-weren't breathing. I-Inuyasha took the jewel; I think to bring you back. It-it started to turn him youkai, a-and he dropped it. I-I begged him not to try again, I knew you wouldn't want him to turn youkai, but he did! And then … I-I'm not sure what happened, but I, but I-I think—he purified the jewel. And brought you back."

Kikyo stared at her. In the silence between them, shrieks could be heard rising from the village. Kaede heard the headman ordering most of the men down the hill to find out what was going on, but all her attention was focused on her sister.

"He couldn't have purified the jewel," said Kikyo at last. "He's hanyo." Her eyes narrowed. "Where is he?"

"R-right here," faltered Kaede, startled that Kikyo hadn't even noticed. "He's hurt awful, and th-there's something wrong with him, besides all the wounds."

Kikyo turned her head. "His youkai blood's been almost purified," she said after a moment, with a detached tone of voice that scared her sister. "He hasn't absorbed the jewel, so he must still be holding it. Which hand—of course, he couldn't possibly hold anything with _that_ hand." Going to her knees beside Inuyasha's limp body, she grabbed his shoulder and pulled him over onto his back.

"Sister, what are you doing?" yelped Kaede. She stared, horrified, as Kikyo, without any apparent care, pulled his right hand into her lap and pried open his clenched fingers. She thought she saw a faint, pink glow, but it vanished too quickly to be sure.

Kikyo appeared to stare at the empty hand for long moments before looking back up. "It can't be gone," she stated, her eyes strange. "Someone's taken it. I have to get it back. I have to protect it. I have to purify it."

Kaede felt goose-bumps racing up her arms, and felt her stomach twist. What was wrong with her sister? This wasn't like her! "But it _is_ gone, sister," she insisted. "I'm sure of it! There was – there was sort of an explosion, it felt like your miko power, but huge! I felt it, and Inuyasha was screaming, he was in the middle of it, and when it stopped, I came back here, you saw what he's like, and then you-you came back to life—!"

Confusion replaced some of the strangeness. "'Came back' … you said, I – died…?"

"Yes!" Kaede's voice choked, as tears burned. "It was awful! You'd just destroyed that demon, and Inuyasha was down, but I knew you'd save him, and then you fell down, too! Then Inuyasha woke up, he tried to get to you, but that awful thing through his body, he couldn't hardly move, but he wanted to see you, I think—I think he was crying—please, sister, you've got to believe me!"

"I …" Kikyo's eyes went unfocussed. Her left hand drifted up to her right shoulder. "In the meadow … sunrise. Waiting for him … with the jewel … we'll use the jewel, turn him human, purify it … then I feel his claws, he's laughing at me, he betrayed me! I—I curse him, I hate him, how dare he! He leaves, he's going to attack the village, I have to get up, I have to go after him, it's the last thing I'll ever do, stop him, take the jewel back, I have to, my duty… Then he comes back, he's pretending, curse him, I won't be fooled again, I'll kill him, how dare he, pretending he's concerned, actually touching me, I still have my power, he's stupid enough to let me touch him—!"

She shivered, going silent. Kaede listened, eyes huge, having had no idea what had happened before the fight at the shrine.

"It wasn't him," Kikyo whispered, blinking. "I tried to purify him, he broke away, then came back, it wasn't him, he held me, he told me he loved me." Tears began to trickle down her face. "Inuyasha…"

Kaede hesitated, then spoke up. "Sister, shouldn't we be doing something? Inuyasha's awfully hurt, he's still bleeding, and, and – I don't want him to die."

Kikyo gave her a startled look, as if she hadn't even noticed. She glanced down at the unconscious hanyo. Kaede watched as surprise and dismay flickered over her sister's face. Kikyo closed her eyes, eyebrows drawn together for a long moment. Then they opened again, as her face smoothed into her calm, cool miko's face. "I do not wish him to die either, little sister," she said, working at the ties of her stained and torn outer shirt." She glanced down the shrine's stairs. "You four!" she barked. Kaede looked over her shoulder. Four of the younger men of the village had been left behind when the headman had ordered the others back to the village. They were standing stiff and straight, their faces pale and sweaty, their eyes wide. "I need a litter to move Inuyasha. Use your spears, and don't waste time. Understand?"

"Yes, miko-sama." "Of course, miko-sama." R-r-right away, m-miko-s-sama." Stumbling over their words, the quartet hastily moved back to the head of the stairs, then huddled, whispering to each other. As one broke away to dash down the steps, Kaede heard a ripping sound and turned her attention back to her sister. Kikyo tossed her one of the voluminous sleeves from her kimono.

"Take out the lacing," she ordered, starting to rip off the second sleeve. "We'll use these to wrap around the worst wounds until we can get him down to the hut."

Kaede hastily complied, feeling relieved. She didn't understand why her sister had been acting like that. But at least now, she seemed to be back to normal…

* * *

The waning half-moon was rising. Kikyo stood just outside the hut, listening and watching with her inner senses as well as her outer. Not unexpectedly, all the other huts were dark. It was very late, the day had been exhausting for most, and no one in a farming village was going to waste fire or light to stay up at night, especially when most would be up with the summer sun. 

The eldritch atmosphere was as peaceful as the physical. The general level of demonic auras had dropped sharply even from what she had felt at dusk. Without the Shikon jewel to attract attention, the lower forms of youkai were drifting back to their normal patterns. And it was a drift; no matter how hard she tried, the miko could sense no directional movement in the ebb of demonic energy.

Nevertheless, Kikyo kept her bow and arrows to hand, even as she shouldered the wooden yoke and headed towards the nearest large irrigation ditch. It was undoubtedly safe enough, but she was not going to risk repeating yesterday morning's lesson a second time, in any aspect.

She did not hurry, and her pace returning was slower yet, as she moved with the buckets filled with water. As she approached the hut she shared with Kaede, she sent a touch of thought at the wards she had erected over the hut. A hemisphere flickered briefly, a pure, unstained azure blue; and she knew that no one had touched the shield, or attempted to breach it. It did not, of course, react to her as she went through it. Squatting enough to set the buckets down, she removed the yoke and set it against the hut, then took the first bucket inside. As she poured its contents into the larger barrel, she heard a whimper.

Swallowing a sigh, Kikyo slipped off her sandals and went to the dim form lying near the square firepit. Kneeling beside him, she touched his forehead. It was sweaty and hot. Inuyasha whimpered again, then muttered something unintelligible, his voice thin and frightened. "Shh, Inuyasha," she murmured, gently stroking his cheek. "It'll be all right. Try not to move. I'll be right here."

She felt the muscles relax under her fingers, and continued to caress his face. He gave a sigh and surrendered to a deeper sleep, his facial muscles going slack. Leaving his side, Kikyo uncovered the embers and rebuilt the fire, moving as quietly as possible, to avoid waking her sister, who was sleeping behind a screen. Filling a small pot with water, she set up the tripod and left it heat. Lighting a lamp, she placed it near Inuyasha's head, then carefully rolled down the cover.

The top layers of the heavy bandage over his middle were still dry. That was one of the first positive signs she had seen: the first two sets of bandages had become soaked with blood. Nevertheless, even her light touch caused him to moan in pain. Checking the bandages on his left arm, which had also bled through the first set, she carefully pulled the covering back to his chin.

A small, covered pot on top of her chest of medicinal supplies contained a potion she had mixed earlier in the evening. Testing it with a fingertip dipped in the liquid and then touched to her tongue, she decided that it was still at the right potency to use. Taking it to the fire along with a shallow bowl, she poured a measured amount into the latter.

The unconscious hanyo's face screwed up in disgust as the first bit of liquid passed his lips. Kikyo gave him a whispered but firm order to drink it, which elicited a mumble that sounded rather like a small boy's whine. She repeated her order, and he quieted, swallowing each small mouthful that she carefully fed him. The muscles on either side of his skull—quite visible with much of the upper scalp torn off—were anything but quiet, vainly trying to move the destroyed ears. Kikyo could only imagine the position those dog ears would be in were they present, and had she not been so exhausted, she might have found amusement in how Inuyasha's ears signaled his reactions, even when he was unconscious.

As it was, she only sighed as she let his head down, and reached for the shallow bucket of water sitting nearby. Wringing out the cloth that had been floating in the water, she began to dampen his face. His ear muscles twitched, then relaxed. Dunking the cloth, she folded it and placed it across his lacerated forehead.

Having done all she could for the moment, Kikyo leaned back. She ached. Her eyes burned. Her body yearned for sleep. But she wouldn't—couldn't—sleep. She couldn't bear the thought of sleep, of losing awareness. Not while she didn't know. Not while nothing made sense.

A hanyo could not have purified and destroyed the Shikon No Tama. No matter how pure his wish, how selfless his desire, a hanyo was tainted by his youkai blood, forever impure. He might make a wish that would purify the jewel, but only with the assistance of a miko of pure heart, whose power would surround and protect the jewel from his taint.

It wasn't possible.

It wasn't believable.

She buried her face in her hands. The early events were believable enough, terrible though they were. The memory of Inuyasha's – no, Naraku's—claws tearing through her flesh was searing. The memory of Inuyasha's pale, sweaty face as he put the hands that had burned him and tried to kill him back on his shoulders; the way he had so gently held her, the words he had whispered in her ear, even as he trembled in pain and fear—that she would remember forever. The confrontation and fight with Naraku and Onigumo's spirit; the desperate, despairing effort to keep going, the staggering shock of horror and grief as the merge-demon impaled Inuyasha and pulled him down to provide a shield; the surge of hope and determination as Inuyasha struck back and tore out the human heart of the merge-demon, and the stilled, stilled center of space wherein she found the speed and skill to send her last two arrows and all of her miko power into the human heart and the youkai body.

All that she remembered; knew it had happened. But afterwards— She remembered knowing that she was dying. She had staggered towards Inuyasha, thinking that she had to tell him—tell someone—that they needed to burn the jewel with her body, to make sure she took the jewel with her to the underworld. But she hadn't reached him, when her heart spasmed, and she felt herself falling. She had felt a final flash of horror and despair—horror that the jewel was going to be without a protector, without anyone who could purify it. And despair, that she had failed her duty. She had failed to protect the jewel. She had failed to purify it. Anyone who died from the malign influence of the Shikon No Tama would be her responsibility, a burden on her soul.

She had fallen into darkness, and then, with no perceptible sense of elapsed time, had found herself awake, and with the awareness that the jewel was gone. The glittering source of power that had always been within her perception for months had vanished. Horror and fear had snapped her up to a seated position. She had tried to sense the jewel, and then her sister had told her Inuyasha had taken the jewel. She had almost been ready to believe Inuyasha had betrayed her after all, until Kaede had told her something even harder to believe.

That the jewel was gone.

Her sister had to be wrong. The Shikon No Tama _had_ to still be in existence, only somehow moved beyond her ability to detect it. If only she knew how, and where! If only Inuyasha would wake up, tell her what had happened, then she might have a chance of finding it!

But he might never wake up. A human would already be dead. Hanyos were, by report, supposed to be able to heal from almost anything that didn't immediately kill them. But it was the youkai blood they carried that gave them that gift, and Inuyasha's was so weakened that she could barely sense it, beneath the lingering haze of spirit power. Could he heal in that condition? He had lost so much blood! She had spent so much of the day working on his injuries, cleaning, stitching and bandaging, as Kaede dealt with the villagers who had kept coming around, wanting to ask about the miracles. She had not wanted to talk with anyone, preferring to concentrate on her medicines; mixing salves to sooth and protect the burned areas, mixing poultices for the other wounds to protect against infection. She had tried not to think about whether the hanyo would live or die, but she had been aware of every hitch in his shallow, labored breathing. Every slightest vocalization had made her look towards his face, in the hope that he was rousing. But he hadn't opened his eyes once. She could coax him into taking her potions, for fever and pain, but she was afraid they would do no good—worse, that they might make the belly wound worse. She wanted him to live, for so many reasons. But she was so afraid that he was going to die—

The absence of sound snapped her head up. She stared at Inuyasha's still face. He wasn't breathing. His chest wasn't moving. It couldn't, he couldn't—

Kikyo panicked. He couldn't die! Not when she didn't know! Reaching down, she grabbed the hanyo's bandaged shoulders, and shook him. "No! Inuyasha. Inuyasha, you can't die!"

His body jerked, his breath a sharp gasp of pain. She shook him again. "Inuyasha!"

The hanyo moaned, his face twisting in pain. "Don't," he muttered. "Hurts."

"Inuyasha!" she made the whisper a demand. "I need you to wake up!"

He moaned again, head moving back and forth. "Ki-kyo… stop it…"

Her hands did not relent. "I need you to wake up. Inuyasha! Listen to me!"

"I hear – you. Ki--." He started again, but not from pain. Golden eyes opened, flashing green fire as the lamp's light hit his pupils. "Ki-kyo?" Wide-eyed, his gaze settled on her face. "You're – not – dead?"

"Tell me what happened to the Shikon No Tama, Inuyasha."

His eyes moved examining her face. "Alive…" he breathed. "Korana? The – villagers? Are they – alive?"

"Yes, yes, they're alive. All of them," she said impatiently. "Now tell me what happened to the jewel."

He stared at her face for a long moment. "Alive." His whisper trembled, and a small, gentle smile graced his face. "My wish…" His eyelids starting droop. "My wish—came true…" His eyes slid shut.

"Damn it, Inuyasha, stay awake!" she hissed, shaking him again. "Inuyasha!"

He gasped, eyes snapping open again. She felt his shoulders jerk under her hold, and his face twisted in pain. "Ki- kyo, I – urr – damn – this – hurts!" His teeth locked against a groan.

A distant part of her was horrified at what she was doing, but the sane part of her was not in control. "Tell me what I want to know!" she demanded, her fingers digging into his burned shoulders. "Tell me what happened to the Shikon No Tama!"

"G-gone." He coughed a little. "P-puri-fied…"

"How?" she demanded. "You're only a hanyo—you couldn't have done it alone!" She shook him a little. "Kaede told me you started to turn youkai the first time you held it. The second time you took it, you collapsed. Don't try and tell me it was simply your wish that purified it!"

He coughed again. "N-no," he whispered, fighting for air. "Wish wasn't – quite – enough. Wanting – to be – youkai – or demon – kept taint." A strangled grunt came through his throat as his body twitched. "She – joined our souls – her sword – purified the demon – she – thanked me – Modoriko … saved … me …"

_Modoriko! _Kikyo gasped, letting go and sitting back in shock. The chief of the demon slayer village had told her what he knew about the jewel's history, when he gave it to her to protect and purify. But she had never told Inuyasha any of that history. To know the identity of the human half of the Shikon No Tama could only mean that he had somehow awakened the souls to awareness. But his part-human soul, combined with Modoriko's had been sufficient to purify the demonic soul? It didn't seem possible!

"Ki-kyo…"

She looked down. His eyes were tightly shut, as blood trickled out of his mouth. "Sorry – couldn't – turn – human," he gasped. "You'll – find – better – "

He gagged, then choked. He convulsed, vomiting blood. His half-youkai aura pulsed, then collapsed. His body went limp.

For a moment longer, the obsession born of her last thoughts as she died held her. Then it shattered under a wave of fear and horrified love. _Inuyasha—no!_ She snatched his body and held it close. _You can't die on me!_ But she could feel the youkai blood within him crumbling, dissipating like a drift of snow on a warm day. She could feel the remnants of the spirit power – hers and the Shikon No Tama's – still drifting through his body like a thousand tiny drops of mist, each drop dissolving the demonic energy around it, leaving it as rotten ice, ready to fall apart at the slightest pressure. "I won't let you!"

There was no training that could tell her what to do. There was no detached, remote miko reasoning to follow. There was only human need, human desire and human fear. Holding his body close with her left arm, she pushed her right hand under the bandages around his chest, until her fingers rested above his heart. She could sense his soul, starting to drift as its ties to the body faded. _Don't you dare! _She thought fiercely to it. _You will stay!_ She concentrated on the pale, pink-flushed mist of power that was destroying him. _Come! _she demanded with all her will. _Return to me! You will not purify this hanyo!_

Nothing seemed to happen for a long moment. Then, something like needles began to stab her fingertips, over and over again. She ignored the pain, denied the pain, and continued to pull on the spirit power. Her hand began to burn, feeling as if fire were crawling up her fingertips to her palm. Hotter and hotter the fire became, as if the power collecting in her hand could find nowhere to go. But she would not relent, not give in. She would draw it out – all of it out, no matter what the cost! She owed him this; her failure to trust that had caused her to attack him, weakening and slowing him before the fight with Naraku. She could not let him die and live with herself! She could not!

Something cool and hard touched the back of her hand. The fire in her hand abruptly began to move, draining into the item. A long, lean object began to blaze within her awareness—a familiar object. Gasping a little at the sudden release in heat, Kikyo fought to keep drawing on the power. The cascade of needles continued to stab her for long moments, before beginning to fade. Her heart lurched in fear that she was failing. But the intensity of the incoming power continued to fade, until it became a trickle, and then – nothing.

Blinking away sweat in her eyes, Kikyo looked down at the hanyo. There was no awareness in the half-lidded eyes. She could see no movement in his chest. Tears began to fill her eyes. She had failed Inuyasha. She had failed him twice—

Then she felt it, beneath her fingertips. A faint thump. Then another. A third. The body twitched, gasped, and coughed, ejecting more blood from the slack mouth. It gasped again, and the youkai aura flashed back into existence, pulsing once, twice, before slumping into low, barely tangible presence. The body sighed, then relaxed, eyelids drooping shut, as she felt the heartbeat settle into a slow but steady rhythm.

Kikyo's shoulders slumped in relief, followed by a wave of exhaustion. She worked her hand out from under the bandages, knocking the glowing, burning arrow from where it rested against the back of her wrist to the ground. She shifted her hold so that his head rested against her shoulder, even as fresh tears gathered and fell down her cheeks. He was alive, thank all the gods. They were both alive—

Something touched the top of her head. _Take good care of him, young miko,_ said a woman's voice inside her head. _He may be hanyo, but he has a good heart. _

She might have argued with the voice, that she didn't need to be told that, but she was too tired. He was hanyo, forever hanyo, and she was human—and a miko. What that meant to their future, she didn't know, and at the moment, didn't care. She leaned her cheek against the top of his head. All that mattered was that they were both alive. And together.

Epilogue

Kaede blinked, wondering what she was doing kneeling across the futon from her sister and the hanyo. And what an arrow, brightly glowing, was doing lying on top of the cover. She could vaguely recall having a dream, something involving a strangely-garbed priestess, but how that explained her current position, she didn't know.

Yawning, she reached over and picked up the arrow, then stood up and walked across the room. She started to place it in the quiver, then changed her mind and leaned it against the wall. Returning to the pair, she studied them a moment. "You're going to get an awful crick in the neck, sleeping like that," she told her sister. Spotting the washcloth, she retrieved it, rinsed it out, then started cleaning the blood off Inuyasha's face. His eyebrows twitched, drawing together. "It's just me—Kaede," she told the hanyo. "You're perfectly safe—don't try to wake up."

He sighed, his face relaxing as she continued her ministrations. Dropping the cloth back into the water, Kaede carefully felt for his pulse, then eyed the bandages on his shoulders with some misgiving. Blood was evident on the bandages, but in an odd pattern that suggested fingers. She wondered what had gone on while she was asleep. At least, whatever it was, it seemed to have left the hanyo in better condition that he'd been when she'd fallen asleep. He didn't seem as—transparent—as before. Looked less as if part of him was simply going to fade away.

Deciding that someone should stay awake, Kaede resumed her position next to the futon, sitting cross-legged, and cupping her chin in her hands. Studying the two faces, she wondered what was going to happen, now that the Shikon no Tama was gone. Was her sister going to let herself be more like other women now? She'd looked so beautiful, those times Kaede had caught glimpses of her, late at night, using the shell of lip-stain Inuyasha had given her. She hoped Kikyo would let herself show that more.

She wondered if her sister would end up marrying the hanyo. Surely the villagers couldn't object, could they? After all lives he had saved?

Kaede studied the hanyo's lacerated skull, and hoped fiercely that his ears would grow back. Not that she was ever going to tell him, but she thought his ears were cute.

And she kind of liked him. He'd saved her life that time, taking down that centipede demon with a single blow. It was hard not to like someone who did that, even if he was rude.

If he married her sister, wouldn't that make him a sort of big brother?

She wouldn't mind that.

Even if he was a hanyo.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Finally! This story's done. Sorry to take so long, but between having a horribly time-consuming project at work, and this chapter's stubborn refusal to gel, it's taken awhile. 

This story is done, but I do hope to write more stories in this 'alternate history.' After all, now that I've taken this branch, there are lots of questions. Can Kikyo and Inuyasha manage to stay together, in a violent society that hates and fears hanyos? Does Inuyasha get Tessaiga? Will there be differences in the relationship between Inuyasha and his brother Sesshomaru? Will any of the other characters from the series show up? Stay tuned… :)


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